Can You Really Choose Peace During Chaos?

Two weeks before my daughter’s wedding, I received this text regarding our rental house, “The house has bed bugs, but I’m sure it will be fine before you get here.”

Wait...what? Uh, no.

I am a planner. It’s what I do for my job as an executive assistant to look at the big picture of an event and pull out all the details that need attention. Helping my daughter with her wedding plans were no different so I reserved a house for the six of us for wedding week, months in advance (the wedding was several states away), and now those plans just got eaten up by bed bugs.

I’m not a huge fan of change, but I am also not a huge fan of itching at my daughter’s wedding and possibly bringing bugs back to my home. A few phone calls later I received my money back from my fully paid reservation and booked a hotel, sans bed bugs.

Why is it in the last few weeks leading up to a wedding there is a level of chaos and last minute changes? Family drama, the venue not returning our calls, bed bugs…

I texted a dear friend and mentor and asked her to pray. I was struggling to not be entirely enveloped by the drama and chaos. I had purposed in my heart that when the big day comes I want to be fully present as the mother of the bride. I don’t want to be THAT mom that misses all the joy and excitement of the day because of details. My mentor agreed to pray and encouraged me to place scripture or a quote as a background on my phone of that would remind me to stay in the center of God’s peace.

Brilliant.

One of my favorite scriptures is Isaiah 26:3, “You will keep him (me) in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he (I) trusts in you” (I like to personalize it so it’s more of a confession over my soul). Every time I looked at my phone I was reminded to stay in peace. Trust the Lord. He has my best interest at heart. He loves me. He has good things for me. He loves my daughter and her future husband and has ordained this day for His good pleasure.

Having a verse on my phone acted as a trigger to align my heart to His. And honestly, how many times do we look at our phones each day? It also helped me to see God’s mercy through it all. It allowed me to press into gratitude and realize God’s mercy that WE did not discover the bed bugs, but had a full 2 weeks to find alternate lodging.

We can choose to let chaos and drama act act the trigger for us to react to life’s hurdles, or we can let the perfect words of God act as the trigger for us to re-align with His purpose and presence. It’s our choice. What reminder do you need throughout the day? Find one online or use the image above to put on your phone. Comment in the box below to let me know how it has helped you.

You matter, dear friend. Your story matters. Fight for peace as you live out your story.

Through the Fire and Back Again

I have a confession to make...I used to be afraid of the month of April.

It’s silly, I know, but it’s true. For years, something devastating would happen in the month of April. Events like a family member dying, a severe car accident, putting the dog down, and the worst of them all, our house fire. It’s been 15 years ago now, but when April comes around my thoughts turn toward the time in our lives when we lost everything on April 3, 2004.

It was a sunny Saturday morning and the dirty snow piles were yielding to the warmer weather. I was attempting to welcome the spring by cleaning the winter-beaten windows and inviting some fresh air inside, even though I had to stop and rest often to nurse my 8-week old baby and redirect my 2 year old as he played. Their dad was working and their two siblings were at their grandparents house.

It was late in the afternoon when my husband came home, parked his car in the garage, and went to get cleaned up. It was only a few minutes later when I smelled something unusual. I couldn’t place it as a normal country-living-smell. Our neighbor wasn’t burning trash or leaves. This was different - like plastic and oil burning hot.

I glanced out the front window to see plumes of white smoke billowing out of our garage. I ran to the door only to discover flames shooting out from my husband’s car.

I screamed for help.

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We don’t anticipate the fires in our lives. We welcome the restful rain that soothes our souls, the warm sunshine that gives us hope, and the crisp breezes that blow away the unnecessary fluff that clutters our lives. But fire is an unforeseen event that is hard to prepare for. A fire is unforgiving and will gnaw and chew through anything in it’s way. It doesn’t regard an irreplaceable homemade Christmas decoration or love letters that were written by teenagers who fell in love and got married. Fire destroys all in it’s path until it can be beaten back by water which ironically also destroys.

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We lost everything that day. The fire that began in the garage (next to gas cans and hunting ammunition) shot through the rooftops, blasted through the empty attic, and burned the house top down. Thankfully no one was injured as we stood in the backyard and watched the firemen get the blaze under control.

It took months to find normality again. Homeless, yet still paying a mortgage, we shifted to temporary housing as we planned to rebuild our home.

The charred house was bulldozed sometime in July, nearly 3 months after the fire. In this picture, you’ll notice the iris that grew through the ashes and broken glass. Even though the bulldozing was necessary in order to rebuild, I couldn’t watch. I couldn’t face seeing all the memories stored inside that home razed to the ground in a few moments.

When we experience fires in life that destroy, it paves the way for a rebuilding process. The alternative is to remain inside the rubble and lament over what was lost. Believe me, I did plenty of that, but I couldn’t LIVE there.

The book of Nehemiah has been a tremendous comfort to me as I’ve experienced seasons of being torn down and seasons of being rebuilt. If you’re unfamiliar with the story, Nehemiah was working in another city serving a king. He learned of his city sitting in shambles and with permission of his employer, he set out to rebuild the wall.

But there was opposition. His “frenemies” mocked him, sent him accusing letters, and tried to trap him into sin, but Nehemiah pressed on. I want to talk more about this another time, but I want to leave you with this final thought. If you’re in a season of rebuilding, meditate on this scripture.

“Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, great and awesome, and fight for (your family). Those who built on the wall, and those who carried burdens, loaded themselves so that with one hand they worked at construction, and with the other held a weapon.”

Nehemiah 4:14 & 17

The rebuilding process is arduous and sometimes even those closest to you will not understand your struggle. Don’t be discouraged. Rebuild with one hand and fight with the other. You ARE equipped for this. In your weakness God’s strength can move through you. Rely on Him to get you through this.

Power-Infused Truth Bombs

In Joshua 1:9, the Lord tells Joshua to be strong and courageous. Moses has just died and Joshua was stepping into his shoes as the leader of the Israelites. Talk about an intimidating job. But the Lord, in his goodness, spoke words of truth over Joshua. His words were not empty fillers, but power-infused truth bombs meant to build Joshua up from the inside out. The command to be strong and courageous left his mouth and into the heart of Joshua giving him firm resolve to not operate in his own power, but to rely on the empowerment from the Lord.

Oh, if we could follow this model. How different would our day be?

I’ve been meditating on this verse for a while and if I’m honest, it’s been a verse I’ve leaned on quite heavily this year. As I was meditating I pondered why both strength and courage are spoken. Aren’t they similar? Why say the same thing twice?

Be strong.

Strength is not something you can fake from the outside. It’s something that builds from the inside out, but it doesn’t build by accident. You have to lift weights or create resistance to build muscles. Our faith journey consists of moments of weight training and resistance training. Weight training is when you try something a bit harder, more challenging and taking more risk in your faith than you’ve attempted before. It pushes you to the next level of faith or reminds you to lift more frequently. Resistance training is when you experience push-back. When you’re rejected, or thought badly of, or something doesn’t go right when you’re brave. Resistance training prepares you for the mental and emotional challenges of stepping out in faith. This is what it means to be strong in the Lord - the internal fortitude that drives us to have courage.

Be courageous.

Courage is the external evidence that we’re stepping out in faith-going beyond our normal boundaries. You can be courageous on the inside, but if you keep it trapped inside, is it really courage? Being courageous requires action. It’s the first step on shaky ground where you don’t know what the outcome will be. Being courageous means you draw from the well of strength within you and pour it out through steps of courage. They are separate entities, but they work together. Being brave is the gasoline to the engine of courage.

What has the Lord been speaking to you? Is he asking you to go beyond your comfort zone and step out in an area that requires strength and courage? It’s terrifying, right? Here’s what sweetens the deal...God not only gives us strength and courage, but HE IS WITH US WHEREVER WE GO!

My 1,000 pound burden just got lifted. God doesn’t tell me nice things and then wish me good luck. He speaks strength and courage to me and then reminds me He’s with me every step of the way. His presence is everything! His presence is what gets me through the day.

Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take. Josh 1:9 (MSG)

This is my command-- be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (NLT)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified or dismayed (intimidated), for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (AMP)

Sibling Rivalries and Family Drama

In my current WIP (Work in Progress), my main characters are teenage sisters Anna, Katie, and Julia. If you have sisters, then you understand the type of drama that can be part of the day to day life. Even though my characters are set in Steampunk California in the late 1800s, they too have difficulties in navigating their way.

What I love about these sisters is they portray the challenges all teenagers face at some point during their awkward stage of pre-adulthood. Struggles like loneliness, betrayal, searching for truth and identity while wanting to be part of their family, but individuals as well.

Katie, the eldest sister, has raised her siblings. She wasn’t ready to take care of her sisters when her parents abandoned them as children, but there was no one else, so she stepped into a role that she was ill prepared for. Julia, the proverbial middle child, is spoiled and selfish, but she has a deep churning within her own heart to achieve greatness, even if others raise their eyebrows at her methods. Anna, the baby of the family, has a tendency to be overlooked by others, but she has opinions of her own that she’s just learning to vocalize.

As in any story, I find myself relating to characters in many ways. In my current WIP I relate to Anna because she’s finding her voice. As a writer, I speak through my characters, but I also relate to their struggles. What characters do you find yourself relating to?

What's Your Story?

This month, the writing community is sharing their #WIP (Work in Progress). I’ve been working on a manuscript for several years now with the working title, Dreams that Awaken. I love this work because it tells the story of a young abandoned woman who is longing for something bigger than herself, something deeper than her trivial life. She’s searching for Jesus, but she doesn’t realize it and doesn’t know how to reach Him.

I’m not a storyteller by nature, it’s something I’ve had to work at and develop. I’ve always found comfort and solace in writing and enjoy the challenge of developing characters and instilling in them heroic qualities, flaws, and deep needs that are hidden in plain sight.

My main character, Anna, is an orphaned teen, who is being raised by her sisters in Steampunk California in the late 1800s. This was a time where claim-jumpers were hung over nuggets of gold because the noose is long and grace is short. Anna survives by working hard and standing up for herself, but her recurring dream of walking on a tightrope between the hotel and the hangman’s noose is unsettling.

Anna’s dreams reveal the inner turmoil of her heart, things she can’t articulate in the daytime make themselves known in the evening hours. Anna’s journey parallels our own struggle to find peace in our tumultuous life? Where can we go to find significance when everyone around us is hustling to get their basic needs met?

“But if you find yourself experiencing a desire to seek God, we have great news for you; God is already at work in you.” Henry Blackaby

What’s your story?

Small Adjustments to Big Change

I’ve been thinking about the large gestures and grand overtures in desiring change in our lives. With each new year we want to be better, faster, more kind, more resilient, and yet none of these things happen overnight. In order to reach our goals, we have to make small corrections, small adjustments to our rudder of life.

When my children were little I was overwhelmed with the thought of all that I needed to teach them. How can I possibly cram in everything they need to know in 18 short years?

Small adjustments.

When my firstborn daughter was about 16 months old, we began doing family devotions after dinner time. I found a book that had 365 poems about God and we used that to launch our time together after dinner, talking about God. She was adorable and always wanted to do motions to the words. Knowing that faith is personal, we let her take the lead.

As the years have progressed, our family has found different books to help us navigate through the years spanning from toddlers to teenagers. We’ve not been religious about family devotions, but it’s been a beautiful springboard for my children to talk about their day, the struggles they’re facing, and how the devotional from the reading impacts and/or challenges them.

As my children are becoming young adults the discussions have shifted from us modeling our faith, to them showing us their faith. It’s a thing of wonderment, as a parent, to sit back and listen to my sons discuss how they are sharing their faith at school, what challenges they face as they read the Bible on their own, and how they are including God in their everyday life. To me, this is a big change from when they were little, but it all started with a small adjustment.

Can I encourage you to make a small adjustment in your day? Take 5-10 minutes after dinner, or before breakfast, or whatever works for your family, and read through a devotional or a few pages from a book together. It just may change their lives.

If you’d like to see a collection of some of the books we’ve used through the years, click on this Goodreads link.

How Can I Help Support You This Year?

You are the reason I write.

You are the reason I blog.

How can I support you this year? What are your goals? What are your pains that need prayer?

You are brave. You are strong. Telling your story is important.

You matter. Your story matters.

How to Position Yourself for the New Year

Have you been successful with New Year’s Resolutions?

Me neither.

In the past, I’d make lofty goals without any roadmap of how to get there. Within the first 90 days my resolutions would fall off the edge of the earth and I’d be back where I started.

Some years have been so tough that I was thankful to survive the year and glad to see it in the rearview mirror. Like 2016. THAT was a tough year for me. From January to December it was a battle. Some days I didn’t know how I’d survive. It kicked me down all the way into the end of 2017. When 2018 began I knew I needed to do something different. Rather than merely surviving the year, I needed to proactively overcome the year. I needed a shift in my thinking.

Here are 3 things I did to be more proactive in my year:

Reflect back on the year. If you journal, look back at your journal and think about all the highs and lows. Take a moment to breathe in gratitude for the highs and lows. The highs are more pleasant to think about, obviously, but the lows do something in our character that the highs can’t ever touch. What happened in you after the lows? What part of God was revealed during that time? How did you grow through it?

Think outside the box. It seems that resolutions revolve around physical health. While that’s a good goal, I think it sells us short to looking at the bigger picture of our lives. For me, I wrote down different categories of potential areas I wanted to grow in:

Spiritual

Relational

Physical

Professional

Financial

Personal

I spent several days thinking and praying about each area and wrote down specific things I wanted to see improvement or growth in myself. Some categories had a few items, some categories had nothing. It was merely a guideline for me to create a starting line for my year. The biggest one for me in 2018 was to do one self-care thing a month. I wrote about that HERE if you want to read about my journey.

Give yourself grace. I say this a lot, but it rings true. We, as women, are far harder on ourselves than our friends around us. We can be our own worst enemy and set impossible standards for ourselves. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and press into what you have grace for.

In fact, giving grace to myself is one of my goals this year. As we step into the new year I’m looking down a long list of life-events for my family; my daughter getting married, a son graduating and going to college, and another son moving out. I want to be fully present for all these things and I need to give myself grace to be able to navigate through it all successfully.

What are some things you’re aiming to grow in 2019? How will you position yourself to be proactive in your goals? I believe in you. Be brave and strong as you take on the new year like the courageous woman I know you can be.

4 Tips on How to Be Fully Present this Holiday

I’m in my 10th year as a choir/band mom. My oldest began choir her 6th grade year which led the charge for all her siblings to join in music in one form or another. This means that I’ve sat in many auditoriums, theatres, and stadiums getting my ears tickled by the sounds of music. It’s funny how we’ll be sitting through the program and recognize a song that a different child sang or played at another time and place.

The songs haven’t changed much, but there has been a dramatic shift that has not gone unnoticed. As the students are giving the gift of music, the audience is inevitably on their phones. It’s devastating, really. The addiction to phones steals priceless memories that cannot be replaced.

I was recently at the happiest place on earth watching an entertaining performance by the main cast. A couple standing next to us was trying to capture the moment with a perfect picture. They took a picture, then looked at it on their phone. Then took another, then looked at it. Then took yet another one and looked at it. This continued until the show was over. They had missed the event entirely.

They were so intent on sharing that they were not present.

I work virtually and my phone helps me get my work done throughout the day. It is a tool I use to serve my job, not the other way around. I do not serve my phone. When it dings, I don’t jump to its command. But I fear our phones are becoming a dominant voice that’s drowning out the voices and attention of our loved ones. How can we turn this around?

Here are 4 tips that may help you be fully present this holiday:

1. Move your social media to the last page on your phone. This helps me not default to tapping on social media when I have an extra minute. As you’re swiping to get to the link, ask yourself if you really need to check it right now.

2. Turn off notifications.  I have a strong dislike for notifications. They’re interrupters and upset my flow during the day. Again, I don’t jump to the “ding” on my phone. It’s there to serve me and I will check it when it fits my schedule. If it’s an emergency, they’ll call.

3. Remove the pressure of having to capture every moment. My husband recently took me to a concert. The hall forbade any recording or pictures. It was so delightful to sit and listen and not worry about having to take video to share with others. This was a special memory for just my husband and I to share.

4. Put the phone down. This is hard, I know. But feast your eyes on the faces you’re with. Breathe in the smells of the season. Delight your heart on the giggles and smiles that are shared. Be fully present.

Don’t Think About Giving This Gift--Just Give It

I have a confession to make. I’m super analytical and sometimes an over-thinker. I don’t just think about something, but I’ll look at different angles of the situation and analyze the people involved, or the setting, or anything else that could possibly play a role. At heart, I’m my own version of Sherlock Holmes.

Sometimes overthinking can be a weakness when I don’t follow the nudge of the Holy Spirit. I’ll be in the store minding my own business and I’ll see a perfect stranger and I’ll feel the Lord nudging me to give them a word of encouragement. Sometimes I’m brave and I’ll tell them what the Lord puts on my heart. Sometimes I chicken out and I don’t.

Here’s a perfect example. I was traveling for work and I felt like the Lord wanted me to encourage the man sitting next to me on the plane. I was enjoying solitude while reading my book and sipping my coffee and didn’t feel like encouraging the man next to me. What if he thinks I’m hitting on him? What if he thinks I’m a weirdo and has to sit next to me the rest of the plane ride?

With a bad attitude, I said to the Lord, “Fine, show me how you see this man.” Instantly, I saw a picture of this man’s burden. Compassion pressed against my heart. God’s love for him filled my eyes with tears and I was so grateful to hear the Lord on this man’s behalf.

But did I tell the man? No.

I chickened out and walked off that plane with the beautiful picture of how God sees him tucked away in my imagination. I felt guilty, but not guilty enough to go chasing after the man.

But God, in His infinite wisdom and graciousness, saw fit for the man to show up at my conference. I shook my head and laughed when I realized God was giving me a second chance to partner with Him. So, I repented and asked God for another opportunity, and of course, He created an opening for me to share with the man the image God showed me.

With tears in his eyes, the man thanked me for giving him the word of encouragement. He didn’t run in terror of my awkwardness, but humbly accepted the words I shared from the Lord. I was merely a conduit connecting him to the heart of God.

What a tremendous privilege.

Who is God asking you to encourage? Will you be brave and do it? Don’t overthink it. Take a risk. Be brave. Give a word of encouragement to a perfect stranger. Telling them God loves them is a beautiful thing. I can’t think of a better gift to give this season.

Give this Gift to Yourself this Holiday

Don’t you find it terribly ironic that after the day of giving thanks and being grateful for what we have, the culture pushes us to flock to stores to get more stuff? It’s hard to find a heathy balance between giving thoughtful gifts and just collecting more things. Throw in the Christmas concerts, school parties, and company gatherings to send a girl spinning.

So, what gift can you give yourself this year?

Give yourself the gift of GRACE.

What does this look like? It looks like cutting yourself some slack when you’re pinched for time. It means taking a nap when the baby is sleeping because you stayed up late wrapping presents. It looks like making frozen pizzas for dinner and not feeling guilty about it. It means treating yourself the way a friend would treat you, extending grace and not holding yourself to an impossible standard.

Why is this so hard for us? I have no idea, but I certainly have learned over the years to give myself grace when I find myself trying to climb the ladder of impossible expectations.

Take a minute and ask yourself what is stressing you out right now? What could you do with this to give yourself grace?

What about...

STRESS: Feeling guilty for not making homemade cookies for your child’s school function

GRACE: Telling guilt to take a hike and buy the cookies

STRESS: Not having the house decorated exactly the way you want it

GRACE: Being fully present in the moment and grateful for the people inside your home

STRESS: Not being able to find that perfect gift for your loved one

GRACE: Gifts don’t ever last. Your presence and love last. Take pressure off yourself.

This time of year can bring out the best and worst in people. Invite God to fill you with grace and let it affect the world around you. After all, we received the gift of grace from our good Father, shouldn’t you share the wealth?

Can You Afford to Give This Gift?

I’ve never been a very good gift giver. It’s not that I don’t enjoy giving gifts, I do, but I’m just not good at the bows and packaging. To me, it’s almost like a craft which has never been my strength. Despite my gift-giving deficiencies, I do enjoy thinking about giving things to my loved ones that I know would bring them joy.

There’s one gift that can be given all year round and yet it’s the hardest to give.

The gift of forgiveness.

This time of year can stir up all sorts of old hurts and offenses when we’re surrounded by people. So, what’s a girl to do when there are scabs of unforgiveness are picked at the holiday party? The choice is to continue to let the pain fester or to finally let it heal once and for all.

Forgiveness is not a one-hit-wonder. It’s not a singular moment where you “feel” like you’ve finally forgiven, you’ve finally healed from the source of pain. Rather it’s a posture of the heart to release the person from their offense. It doesn’t condone their behavior or excuse it. Forgiveness allows you to let go of the pain and make room for God to heal your hurt.

There have been times where I’ve had to forgive a person daily, sometimes hourly. If you’re in this cycle, keep going, keep forgiving. A wise friend once told me you’ll know you’re finally healed when you’re able to look back on the situation and feel peace instead of pain. If getting to the place of healing means removing yourself from toxic people, then take the necessary steps towards that. Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing the person to continually infect your life with their toxicity. Be wise about protecting your heart and your family.

If you’ve held forgiveness hostage, then try to take the first steps toward your freedom. In your prayer times tell the Lord you forgive this person. Don’t shame yourself if you don’t “feel” like you’ve forgiven them. Remember, it takes time. You’ll have to keep forgiving them until all the pain is out of your heart.

Be brave, dear one. Forgiveness is never easy, but it’s absolutely necessary to live a free and fulfilled life. You can do this.

Happy Thanksgiving

I'm praying for you and your family today as you share food and fellowship. May you be fully present, enjoying those around you and seeing them how God sees them. You are a carrier of the Holy Spirit and you bring His peace and strength into the environment around you. Be strong and brave, dear one. 

Blessings,
Tannis

Cultivating a Heart Posture of Gratefulness

If it’s one thing that makes me roll my eyes, it’s cheesy catch-phrases. One that is overly used during this season of Thanksgiving is, “An Attitude of Gratitude.” I know, I know, it’s a good reminder, but I think I avoid it for its sheer cheesiness.

In the last few years, I’ve really worked at having not just an attitude of gratitude, but a heart posture of gratefulness.

It sounds the same, doesn’t it?

For me, I think it’s different. I can change my attitude in the situation, but that attitude won’t necessarily affect my heart. My attitude could be merely showing the external attempt to avoid pain or embarrassment. However, a heart posture of gratefulness shows a deeper work being done within me. It shows that my words and actions stem from a source of gratitude, not just an attitude that I can adjust when the wind changes.

A heart posture of gratefulness means I’ve anchored myself in the hope of Jesus Christ and my gratitude emerges from that hope. It’s reposturing myself to not be spinning spastically with the chaos of the world around me, but to be firmly planted in hope.

If you’re wondering what this looks like in a practical sense, take a minute to be still and focus your thoughts toward Jesus and his great love for you. Anchor your heart there for a few minutes. Let the truth of His love and acceptance seep deeply into your soul. Allow thoughts of His faithfulness and truth to captivate your attention. And then begin to cultivate gratitude in your heart. Speak of the things in your life that bless you. Even the small things.

The first sip of hot coffee in the morning.

The way the sunlight dances on the clouds.

The moment of peace where you can take a breath.

For the Lord loving you when you don’t even love yourself.

For having a pillow to rest your head.

For…(you fill in the blank)

Want to take this a step further? The next time you see someone you’re grateful for, tell them. Don’t just think about it, tell them what they mean to you, write them a note of encouragement, send them a text.

I’m grateful for you, dear friend.

One Way You're Reflecting God's Nature

One of the things I appreciate about social media is I get a chance to see the projects you’re working on. Whether you paint, sew, do crafts, take photos, dance, or whatever, I love seeing you thrive in doing the thing that recharges your soul.

I think when we’re in the mode of creating we are reflecting the creative side of God. After all, He is the creator of all things and we are like Him when we enjoy creating something. When I write I’d like to think I partner with the imaginative side of God so I can adequately express things that are on His heart.

Right now I’m participating in National Novel Writing Month. It’s a world-wide community that encourages each other to write 50,000 words in the month of November. That’s roughly 1,700 words each day. It’s been a few years since I’ve attempted this tremendous feat, but what I love about it is the daily prodding to keep tapping the creative side of my brain. Or in other words, I play with my imaginary friends that I’ve created in my head and write down their story. (If you’re curious, I’m sharing my progress on my Facebook page HERE). When I’m creating a story, I feel like I’m partnering with God because ultimately I’m telling His story woven through my words. For me, it’s a truly beautiful thing.

What project are you currently working on? Next time you’re working on it ask God how it’s reflecting His nature. Enjoy partnering with Him in expressing your creative side.

This is Not the Crown I Was Expecting

I was sitting in the dentist chair clenching my toes, trying to relax, yet failing miserably.

“Are you okay?” The dentist asked in her broken English.

“Yeah.” I lied.

I recited Isaiah 26:3 in my head, “He will keep me in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him because I trust in Him.” I forced my muscles to relax and tried to press down my anxiety as the jarring noise of the dentist’s drill continued.

Talk to me. I heard the gentle nudge in my spirit.

Desperate to get my mind on anything else other than the work being done in my mouth, I responded. In my spirit, I said, “Okay, Lord. Let’s talk. Where are you right now?” I closed my eyes and imagined the Lord in the dentist chair with me.

I’m here, with you. I’m fixing what’s broken.

I was getting a crown on a molar that had cracked after I suffered trauma. It wasn’t my fault the tooth broke, and yet here I was shelling out hundreds of dollars to get it repaired. And despite my brokenness, the Lord reminded me He was with me and has my wholeness in mind. Isn’t the Lord so sweet?

As a daughter of the King, I know who I am. I know whose I am. My good Father has promised me a crown.

I’m on my way; I’ll be there soon. Keep a tight grip on what you have so no one

distracts you and steals your crown. Revelation 3:11

Are you dealing with the after-effects of trauma or suffering? Did part of your heart break because of it? Ask the Lord where He was during that time. Let His presence bring peace and comfort to your soul. He has a crown for you, it just may not be what you expected.

You’re Not Alone in Your Loneliness

When I was growing up, my family moved around a few times which meant I switched schools more than once, six times to be exact. I got really good at making new friends and adjusting to the world around me. It was never easy, but I managed.

My family and I recently relocated to Florida. I’m not in grade school anymore, and I’ve paid my dues with reaching out to people, but finding community here has been far harder than I was prepared for. At the encouragement of a dear friend, I’ve crossed the street and introduced myself to my neighbors. I’ve visited over a dozen churches. I’ve been friendly, but loneliness follows me around like a shadow I just can’t shake.

It’s gotten to the point that I wonder if I’m invisible. It sounds stupid, I know, but after attending the same church for 9 months I felt completely anonymous. So, I quit. My disappointment with the church has made me question the modern-day Christian community/clique. But that’s a different blog topic.

I know I’m not alone in my loneliness. It’s something everyone struggles with at some point in their lives. How can we be surrounded by people, yet not feel connected? So, what’s a girl to do? I love Jesus – he’s my favorite, and yet I struggle to find a community that loves Him and acts like him in reaching out to others.

We make connections through vulnerability. No one makes connections by “having it all together.” I teeter on the edge of being vulnerable and reaching out to others, but fear holds me back from being rejected. And yet I hold on to hope and continue to put my heart out there. I see glimpses of Jesus at Bible Study and I remind my soul to not be discouraged.

I don’t have deep words of wisdom to share today, other than if you’re battling loneliness – you’re not alone. Have courage, dear heart.

What Do You Smell Like?

Recently, during some travel, I stepped inside an airport terminal and the pungent aroma of raw onions assailed my nostrils. It was so pervasive and strong that I wondered if was a nearby restaurant chopping up bucketfuls of onions, or if it was a result of body odor from the masses of surrounding people as we stood in the long security lines. Either way, the smell was not pleasant.

In fact, during that trip, there were a few times where some unwelcome odors altered the atmosphere. Like the woman who rode on the 2-hour shuttle with her poor dog who was literally covered in poop. Or the man on the plane who smelled like he hadn’t showered in weeks.

As my olfactory senses were in overdrive, it got me thinking about my own stinkiness. And I don’t mean my sweaty stench after a workout, but my spiritual smell.

Let me clarify. When the woman with the poo-covered doggie stepped onto the shuttle, the atmosphere changed. Instead of reading my book in peace, I had to bury my nose in my sweater to avoid the foul air. How did the woman not smell her dog hours ago? How could she not know how bad the smell was?

That’s exactly my point.

If I have a crappy attitude or I’m being judgmental then I’m releasing an odor around me that’s not reflective of the love of God. Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God (2 Cor 2:15a). How is my life changing the atmosphere? When I step into the room do those around me feel the presence of God? Do they sense His love and acceptance?

What do you think about this? Let me know in the comments below.

Stop Being a “Nice” Christian

Think for a minute about the promises God has made to you. Maybe you received them through scriptures or through a prophetic word. However you received them, have you attained those promises yet? Or are they still beyond your grasp?

Joshua 12 lists the names of kings that were kicked out of the Promised Land; the land promised to the people of God. It’s not a riveting read, but as I was studying, I was trying to put myself in Joshua’s shoes. I mean, after all, these kings had been there a long time! I began asking myself if I would ask politely for the land for fear of offending the inhabitants? Or would I tip-toe around them and try to convince them that God gave me this land?

And then it hit me. I’ve tip-toed around many established “kings” in my life. They are standing in spaces that God has promised to me and I need to STOP being a “nice” Christian and take what is rightfully mine!

For example, all my life I’ve dealt with a patriarchal viewpoint that I’m lesser because I’m a woman. Maybe I sound ignorant, but I never knew any different. The “king” that stood in my way needed to be removed, and it wasn’t going to voluntarily budge with me being a “nice” Christian.

In our lives, we don’t battle physical people like Joshua did, but we battle things in our minds; wrong ideas, poor images of ourselves, lies we’ve believed. What “kings” are standing in the way of the precious real estate in your mind? What will it take to conquer them?

For me, I had to remove the belief that told me I am not valuable as a woman. I asked for God’s perspective on how He sees me - I am His beloved daughter. Period. I am valuable. I am loved. And I will take the ground that God has promised me. I’m not going to be “nice” anymore. What are you tip-toeing around?

Read This Before You Post on Social Media #Blessed...

With the turning color of fall leaves comes a reposturing of the heart toward thanksgiving and gratitude. Cute decorations adorn homes with words like “Blessed” and “Grateful” and splattered on all forms of social media are tags of #blessed.

I recently studied out the word “blessed.” It’s generally understood that to be #blessed means that everything in the world is going splendidly. The kids look amazing in their perfectly coordinated fall outfits, the job is paying well, marriage is effortless, and life is full and abundant. Hashtag blessed.

But as I studied out the word, “blessed” is not something that lands in your life like gentle falling leaves. It is something fought for, declared, and eagerly desired. Hashtag blessed is a battle.

Here’s an example; during my season of suffering I clung to and memorized 1 Peter 1: 12-16. I won’t recite the whole thing here, but listen to the first few verses:

Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you…

Does this mess with your theology a bit? This isn’t the #blessed represented on social media! Can you imagine a post that represents this idea? It would sound something like this:

“I was just rejected and am suffering greatly. #blessed”

Blessing does not come by without perseverance! It is a battleground that a strong woman fights for and proves her worth by not giving up. Your spiritual elbows may be marred and bloody as you’re crawling over the shattered pieces of your life. But you keep going anyway.

You are a strong woman. Fight for what’s rightfully yours. Fight for your blessing. It’s not going to land in your lap and it may not look like you originally thought. But it’s yours for the taking.

You are hashtag blessed.