How to Position Yourself for the New Year

Have you been successful with New Year’s Resolutions?

Me neither.

In the past, I’d make lofty goals without any roadmap of how to get there. Within the first 90 days my resolutions would fall off the edge of the earth and I’d be back where I started.

Some years have been so tough that I was thankful to survive the year and glad to see it in the rearview mirror. Like 2016. THAT was a tough year for me. From January to December it was a battle. Some days I didn’t know how I’d survive. It kicked me down all the way into the end of 2017. When 2018 began I knew I needed to do something different. Rather than merely surviving the year, I needed to proactively overcome the year. I needed a shift in my thinking.

Here are 3 things I did to be more proactive in my year:

Reflect back on the year. If you journal, look back at your journal and think about all the highs and lows. Take a moment to breathe in gratitude for the highs and lows. The highs are more pleasant to think about, obviously, but the lows do something in our character that the highs can’t ever touch. What happened in you after the lows? What part of God was revealed during that time? How did you grow through it?

Think outside the box. It seems that resolutions revolve around physical health. While that’s a good goal, I think it sells us short to looking at the bigger picture of our lives. For me, I wrote down different categories of potential areas I wanted to grow in:

Spiritual

Relational

Physical

Professional

Financial

Personal

I spent several days thinking and praying about each area and wrote down specific things I wanted to see improvement or growth in myself. Some categories had a few items, some categories had nothing. It was merely a guideline for me to create a starting line for my year. The biggest one for me in 2018 was to do one self-care thing a month. I wrote about that HERE if you want to read about my journey.

Give yourself grace. I say this a lot, but it rings true. We, as women, are far harder on ourselves than our friends around us. We can be our own worst enemy and set impossible standards for ourselves. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and press into what you have grace for.

In fact, giving grace to myself is one of my goals this year. As we step into the new year I’m looking down a long list of life-events for my family; my daughter getting married, a son graduating and going to college, and another son moving out. I want to be fully present for all these things and I need to give myself grace to be able to navigate through it all successfully.

What are some things you’re aiming to grow in 2019? How will you position yourself to be proactive in your goals? I believe in you. Be brave and strong as you take on the new year like the courageous woman I know you can be.

Cultivating a Heart Posture of Gratefulness

If it’s one thing that makes me roll my eyes, it’s cheesy catch-phrases. One that is overly used during this season of Thanksgiving is, “An Attitude of Gratitude.” I know, I know, it’s a good reminder, but I think I avoid it for its sheer cheesiness.

In the last few years, I’ve really worked at having not just an attitude of gratitude, but a heart posture of gratefulness.

It sounds the same, doesn’t it?

For me, I think it’s different. I can change my attitude in the situation, but that attitude won’t necessarily affect my heart. My attitude could be merely showing the external attempt to avoid pain or embarrassment. However, a heart posture of gratefulness shows a deeper work being done within me. It shows that my words and actions stem from a source of gratitude, not just an attitude that I can adjust when the wind changes.

A heart posture of gratefulness means I’ve anchored myself in the hope of Jesus Christ and my gratitude emerges from that hope. It’s reposturing myself to not be spinning spastically with the chaos of the world around me, but to be firmly planted in hope.

If you’re wondering what this looks like in a practical sense, take a minute to be still and focus your thoughts toward Jesus and his great love for you. Anchor your heart there for a few minutes. Let the truth of His love and acceptance seep deeply into your soul. Allow thoughts of His faithfulness and truth to captivate your attention. And then begin to cultivate gratitude in your heart. Speak of the things in your life that bless you. Even the small things.

The first sip of hot coffee in the morning.

The way the sunlight dances on the clouds.

The moment of peace where you can take a breath.

For the Lord loving you when you don’t even love yourself.

For having a pillow to rest your head.

For…(you fill in the blank)

Want to take this a step further? The next time you see someone you’re grateful for, tell them. Don’t just think about it, tell them what they mean to you, write them a note of encouragement, send them a text.

I’m grateful for you, dear friend.

What Do You Smell Like?

Recently, during some travel, I stepped inside an airport terminal and the pungent aroma of raw onions assailed my nostrils. It was so pervasive and strong that I wondered if was a nearby restaurant chopping up bucketfuls of onions, or if it was a result of body odor from the masses of surrounding people as we stood in the long security lines. Either way, the smell was not pleasant.

In fact, during that trip, there were a few times where some unwelcome odors altered the atmosphere. Like the woman who rode on the 2-hour shuttle with her poor dog who was literally covered in poop. Or the man on the plane who smelled like he hadn’t showered in weeks.

As my olfactory senses were in overdrive, it got me thinking about my own stinkiness. And I don’t mean my sweaty stench after a workout, but my spiritual smell.

Let me clarify. When the woman with the poo-covered doggie stepped onto the shuttle, the atmosphere changed. Instead of reading my book in peace, I had to bury my nose in my sweater to avoid the foul air. How did the woman not smell her dog hours ago? How could she not know how bad the smell was?

That’s exactly my point.

If I have a crappy attitude or I’m being judgmental then I’m releasing an odor around me that’s not reflective of the love of God. Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God (2 Cor 2:15a). How is my life changing the atmosphere? When I step into the room do those around me feel the presence of God? Do they sense His love and acceptance?

What do you think about this? Let me know in the comments below.

I love Jesus, but I'm Still Learning How to Not be a Jerk

Part of being an adult is to not be a jerk. It’s simple I know, but seriously. A few weeks ago I had to email someone whose help I needed. Her response to my plea for help was very passive-aggressive and narcissistic. Yikes! Go back to Rule #1 of adulthood - don’t be a jerk.

I love words and they can be very powerful, so as soon as I received this woman’s response I immediately began crafting a sharp response that would get my point across and make some digs at her jerkiness the same time. Do you see what’s happening here? I was violating my own rule.

A wise friend once told me to give it 24 hours before responding to something like this. So, I walked away from the email and while I was cooling off, in the back of my mind (the way, way back) I heard this still small voice that asked me, “Will she see Jesus in you?”

Pffft! No. Not if I respond like a jerk! She probably gets responses like that all the time. And then I heard the question in my heart again but phrased another way, “How can you be Jesus to her?”

But, I don’t want to be like Jesus to her. She should be a professional. She should know better!

Right. But will you be Jesus to her?

I thought about this a while. Yes. I will.

So, I took a deep breath and re-crafted my email, this time with a word of encouragement and gratitude, and my original request for help was granted.

Who in your life rubs you the wrong way? How can you be Jesus to them? It’s hard, I know. Ask the Lord how He sees that person and get His perspective. Let me know how you do. You matter, dear friend. Your story matters.

How Are You Caring for Your Soul?

At the beginning of this year, I made it a goal to take better care of myself. I’ve always been one to put the needs of others above my own. This may sound noble, but in reality, I’m a master of neglecting myself.

For this year, I’ve purposed to do at least one act of self-care each month. Most things are obvious like taking myself to the doctor for my annual checkup or going to the dentist. Some are more fun like an afternoon pedicure or going away for the weekend with a friend.

But it’s been during my weekly walks/run I’ve discovered that walking and listening to a podcast or worship music is the best self-care I can do for myself. In some ways, I’m taking care of my spirit, soul, and body in one motion. My spirit feels rejuvenated by listening to a good message while my heart is pumping blood through my body. And my soul is uplifted by spending time drawing closer to the Lord as I exercise my heart and spirit.

Attending to the needs of others has its benefits, but not at the expense of your own soul. How are you caring for your soul? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

It sucks to be in the valley...

Mountaintop experiences are amazing. It takes a huge amount of work to conquer a challenge and you're feeling on top of the world. But then, inevitably the valley floor comes to greet you as you trip and fall down the mountainside. The brief moment of euphoria doesn't last long. The valley is endless, dry, and a soul-sucking time warp that makes you think you'll be here forever. 

You may be thinking, "Will I ever feel normal again?" or "Will I ever have this sorrow out of my heart?" It's painful now, I know, but joy is around the corner. When I was living in the valley, I found this verse and it brought refreshing to my cracked-heart.

Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand new.
It's bursting out! Don't you see it?
(Isaiah 43:18-19 MSG)

Get through this valley and when you look back, look for ways God matured you. And keep a ready eye on the horizon for your next mountaintop experience. It's bursting out! Don't you see it?