This is a big deal, ya’ll. I’m not gonna lie.
I wrote a thing…and it will be released online tomorrow on The Mudroom Blog. This is a vulnerable piece. It was painful to write. But my hope is to bring glory to Jesus and point to him as the healer of hurts.
Be on the lookout tomorrow and thanks for reading.
Our stories matter.
Living life is like a choose-your-own-mystery-story. I have dreams and ideas about the direction I want to go with my writing, but I’m still not sure how all things are going to pan out. I’ve been writing for several years now, but I’ve yet to have any of my manuscripts published.
Currently, I’ve been revising (again) my YA novel Dreams that Awaken (working title). This book is about an orphan girl living in Steampunk Northern California who encounters Jesus in her dreams. I was inspired when I read a book a few years ago about Muslims in the Middle East who are serving Allah, yet begin to have dreams of Jesus. They awaken with this desire to seek him out in the daytime. They find him and give their lives to Christ when they realize his great love for them. I was fascinated about the idea of God using our dream-time to infiltrate our hearts and minds with his presence and purpose.
I love the creative process of writing and developing characters who deal with struggles much like our own. Searching for an agent and publisher is not for the faint at heart. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve my manuscript has been rejected. It’s never fun, but it’s always an opportunity to grow. Where my manuscript stands now is much stronger than where it was last year at this time.
Speaking of last year, I’m on the cusp of celebrating my website’s one-year anniversary! I purposefully chose to launch it on July 14 because that was the day I suffered the largest rejection of my life. I wanted to do something positive on the same day that nearly took out my desire to live. It’s been a long road of recovery; seeking truth, healing deep emotional gashes, finding myself again, and remembering my identity as a daughter of the Most High God.
My life is based on a true story. It’s messy and full of mistakes. It’s silly and outrageous, but it’s mine. I have a vision for what I’d like to see down the road, but I’m determined to not let my future dictated by my past. I took a class by Brene Brown a few years ago that helped me develop bravery and courage. I think she says it best.
“When we deny our stories it defines us. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending.”
What are you dreaming about for your story? Is there anything in the past that’s presenting itself as a major roadblock? If so, what needs to happen to get it out of the way? Your life is based on a true story. In what area do you need to find courage to live it well?
Find it.
You can do this.
I believe in you.
To celebrate the anniversary of the website, will you do me a favor? Will you share this blog (or another post that you enjoyed) with a friend and invite them to follow my website? I’m so grateful for you, dear reader.
Two weeks before my daughter’s wedding, I received this text regarding our rental house, “The house has bed bugs, but I’m sure it will be fine before you get here.”
Wait...what? Uh, no.
I am a planner. It’s what I do for my job as an executive assistant to look at the big picture of an event and pull out all the details that need attention. Helping my daughter with her wedding plans were no different so I reserved a house for the six of us for wedding week, months in advance (the wedding was several states away), and now those plans just got eaten up by bed bugs.
I’m not a huge fan of change, but I am also not a huge fan of itching at my daughter’s wedding and possibly bringing bugs back to my home. A few phone calls later I received my money back from my fully paid reservation and booked a hotel, sans bed bugs.
Why is it in the last few weeks leading up to a wedding there is a level of chaos and last minute changes? Family drama, the venue not returning our calls, bed bugs…
I texted a dear friend and mentor and asked her to pray. I was struggling to not be entirely enveloped by the drama and chaos. I had purposed in my heart that when the big day comes I want to be fully present as the mother of the bride. I don’t want to be THAT mom that misses all the joy and excitement of the day because of details. My mentor agreed to pray and encouraged me to place scripture or a quote as a background on my phone of that would remind me to stay in the center of God’s peace.
One of my favorite scriptures is Isaiah 26:3, “You will keep him (me) in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he (I) trusts in you” (I like to personalize it so it’s more of a confession over my soul). Every time I looked at my phone I was reminded to stay in peace. Trust the Lord. He has my best interest at heart. He loves me. He has good things for me. He loves my daughter and her future husband and has ordained this day for His good pleasure.
Having a verse on my phone acted as a trigger to align my heart to His. And honestly, how many times do we look at our phones each day? It also helped me to see God’s mercy through it all. It allowed me to press into gratitude and realize God’s mercy that WE did not discover the bed bugs, but had a full 2 weeks to find alternate lodging.
We can choose to let chaos and drama act act the trigger for us to react to life’s hurdles, or we can let the perfect words of God act as the trigger for us to re-align with His purpose and presence. It’s our choice. What reminder do you need throughout the day? Find one online or use the image above to put on your phone. Comment in the box below to let me know how it has helped you.
You matter, dear friend. Your story matters. Fight for peace as you live out your story.
I have a confession to make...I used to be afraid of the month of April.
It’s silly, I know, but it’s true. For years, something devastating would happen in the month of April. Events like a family member dying, a severe car accident, putting the dog down, and the worst of them all, our house fire. It’s been 15 years ago now, but when April comes around my thoughts turn toward the time in our lives when we lost everything on April 3, 2004.
It was a sunny Saturday morning and the dirty snow piles were yielding to the warmer weather. I was attempting to welcome the spring by cleaning the winter-beaten windows and inviting some fresh air inside, even though I had to stop and rest often to nurse my 8-week old baby and redirect my 2 year old as he played. Their dad was working and their two siblings were at their grandparents house.
It was late in the afternoon when my husband came home, parked his car in the garage, and went to get cleaned up. It was only a few minutes later when I smelled something unusual. I couldn’t place it as a normal country-living-smell. Our neighbor wasn’t burning trash or leaves. This was different - like plastic and oil burning hot.
I glanced out the front window to see plumes of white smoke billowing out of our garage. I ran to the door only to discover flames shooting out from my husband’s car.
I screamed for help.
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We don’t anticipate the fires in our lives. We welcome the restful rain that soothes our souls, the warm sunshine that gives us hope, and the crisp breezes that blow away the unnecessary fluff that clutters our lives. But fire is an unforeseen event that is hard to prepare for. A fire is unforgiving and will gnaw and chew through anything in it’s way. It doesn’t regard an irreplaceable homemade Christmas decoration or love letters that were written by teenagers who fell in love and got married. Fire destroys all in it’s path until it can be beaten back by water which ironically also destroys.
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We lost everything that day. The fire that began in the garage (next to gas cans and hunting ammunition) shot through the rooftops, blasted through the empty attic, and burned the house top down. Thankfully no one was injured as we stood in the backyard and watched the firemen get the blaze under control.
It took months to find normality again. Homeless, yet still paying a mortgage, we shifted to temporary housing as we planned to rebuild our home.
The charred house was bulldozed sometime in July, nearly 3 months after the fire. In this picture, you’ll notice the iris that grew through the ashes and broken glass. Even though the bulldozing was necessary in order to rebuild, I couldn’t watch. I couldn’t face seeing all the memories stored inside that home razed to the ground in a few moments.
When we experience fires in life that destroy, it paves the way for a rebuilding process. The alternative is to remain inside the rubble and lament over what was lost. Believe me, I did plenty of that, but I couldn’t LIVE there.
The book of Nehemiah has been a tremendous comfort to me as I’ve experienced seasons of being torn down and seasons of being rebuilt. If you’re unfamiliar with the story, Nehemiah was working in another city serving a king. He learned of his city sitting in shambles and with permission of his employer, he set out to rebuild the wall.
But there was opposition. His “frenemies” mocked him, sent him accusing letters, and tried to trap him into sin, but Nehemiah pressed on. I want to talk more about this another time, but I want to leave you with this final thought. If you’re in a season of rebuilding, meditate on this scripture.
“Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, great and awesome, and fight for (your family). Those who built on the wall, and those who carried burdens, loaded themselves so that with one hand they worked at construction, and with the other held a weapon.”
Nehemiah 4:14 & 17
The rebuilding process is arduous and sometimes even those closest to you will not understand your struggle. Don’t be discouraged. Rebuild with one hand and fight with the other. You ARE equipped for this. In your weakness God’s strength can move through you. Rely on Him to get you through this.
In my current WIP (Work in Progress), my main characters are teenage sisters Anna, Katie, and Julia. If you have sisters, then you understand the type of drama that can be part of the day to day life. Even though my characters are set in Steampunk California in the late 1800s, they too have difficulties in navigating their way.
What I love about these sisters is they portray the challenges all teenagers face at some point during their awkward stage of pre-adulthood. Struggles like loneliness, betrayal, searching for truth and identity while wanting to be part of their family, but individuals as well.
Katie, the eldest sister, has raised her siblings. She wasn’t ready to take care of her sisters when her parents abandoned them as children, but there was no one else, so she stepped into a role that she was ill prepared for. Julia, the proverbial middle child, is spoiled and selfish, but she has a deep churning within her own heart to achieve greatness, even if others raise their eyebrows at her methods. Anna, the baby of the family, has a tendency to be overlooked by others, but she has opinions of her own that she’s just learning to vocalize.
As in any story, I find myself relating to characters in many ways. In my current WIP I relate to Anna because she’s finding her voice. As a writer, I speak through my characters, but I also relate to their struggles. What characters do you find yourself relating to?
This month, the writing community is sharing their #WIP (Work in Progress). I’ve been working on a manuscript for several years now with the working title, Dreams that Awaken. I love this work because it tells the story of a young abandoned woman who is longing for something bigger than herself, something deeper than her trivial life. She’s searching for Jesus, but she doesn’t realize it and doesn’t know how to reach Him.
I’m not a storyteller by nature, it’s something I’ve had to work at and develop. I’ve always found comfort and solace in writing and enjoy the challenge of developing characters and instilling in them heroic qualities, flaws, and deep needs that are hidden in plain sight.
My main character, Anna, is an orphaned teen, who is being raised by her sisters in Steampunk California in the late 1800s. This was a time where claim-jumpers were hung over nuggets of gold because the noose is long and grace is short. Anna survives by working hard and standing up for herself, but her recurring dream of walking on a tightrope between the hotel and the hangman’s noose is unsettling.
Anna’s dreams reveal the inner turmoil of her heart, things she can’t articulate in the daytime make themselves known in the evening hours. Anna’s journey parallels our own struggle to find peace in our tumultuous life? Where can we go to find significance when everyone around us is hustling to get their basic needs met?
“But if you find yourself experiencing a desire to seek God, we have great news for you; God is already at work in you.” Henry Blackaby
What’s your story?
You are the reason I write.
You are the reason I blog.
How can I support you this year? What are your goals? What are your pains that need prayer?
You are brave. You are strong. Telling your story is important.
You matter. Your story matters.
I'm praying for you and your family today as you share food and fellowship. May you be fully present, enjoying those around you and seeing them how God sees them. You are a carrier of the Holy Spirit and you bring His peace and strength into the environment around you. Be strong and brave, dear one.
Blessings,
Tannis
Think for a minute about the promises God has made to you. Maybe you received them through scriptures or through a prophetic word. However you received them, have you attained those promises yet? Or are they still beyond your grasp?
Joshua 12 lists the names of kings that were kicked out of the Promised Land; the land promised to the people of God. It’s not a riveting read, but as I was studying, I was trying to put myself in Joshua’s shoes. I mean, after all, these kings had been there a long time! I began asking myself if I would ask politely for the land for fear of offending the inhabitants? Or would I tip-toe around them and try to convince them that God gave me this land?
And then it hit me. I’ve tip-toed around many established “kings” in my life. They are standing in spaces that God has promised to me and I need to STOP being a “nice” Christian and take what is rightfully mine!
For example, all my life I’ve dealt with a patriarchal viewpoint that I’m lesser because I’m a woman. Maybe I sound ignorant, but I never knew any different. The “king” that stood in my way needed to be removed, and it wasn’t going to voluntarily budge with me being a “nice” Christian.
In our lives, we don’t battle physical people like Joshua did, but we battle things in our minds; wrong ideas, poor images of ourselves, lies we’ve believed. What “kings” are standing in the way of the precious real estate in your mind? What will it take to conquer them?
For me, I had to remove the belief that told me I am not valuable as a woman. I asked for God’s perspective on how He sees me - I am His beloved daughter. Period. I am valuable. I am loved. And I will take the ground that God has promised me. I’m not going to be “nice” anymore. What are you tip-toeing around?
With the turning color of fall leaves comes a reposturing of the heart toward thanksgiving and gratitude. Cute decorations adorn homes with words like “Blessed” and “Grateful” and splattered on all forms of social media are tags of #blessed.
I recently studied out the word “blessed.” It’s generally understood that to be #blessed means that everything in the world is going splendidly. The kids look amazing in their perfectly coordinated fall outfits, the job is paying well, marriage is effortless, and life is full and abundant. Hashtag blessed.
But as I studied out the word, “blessed” is not something that lands in your life like gentle falling leaves. It is something fought for, declared, and eagerly desired. Hashtag blessed is a battle.
Here’s an example; during my season of suffering I clung to and memorized 1 Peter 1: 12-16. I won’t recite the whole thing here, but listen to the first few verses:
Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you…
Does this mess with your theology a bit? This isn’t the #blessed represented on social media! Can you imagine a post that represents this idea? It would sound something like this:
“I was just rejected and am suffering greatly. #blessed”
Blessing does not come by without perseverance! It is a battleground that a strong woman fights for and proves her worth by not giving up. Your spiritual elbows may be marred and bloody as you’re crawling over the shattered pieces of your life. But you keep going anyway.
You are a strong woman. Fight for what’s rightfully yours. Fight for your blessing. It’s not going to land in your lap and it may not look like you originally thought. But it’s yours for the taking.
You are hashtag blessed.
When I designed my website I thought long and hard about how I can bless you, my readers. I kept coming back to the phrase, “You Matter. Your Story Matters.” It may be only a few words, but it speaks volumes to me and the reason why I write. You are the reason I write.
I love books. I’ve been an avid reader since I was a kid. Books tell stories and more importantly, the author crafting the words shares part of themselves through the story. Regardless if the genre is romance, or steampunk, or biographical, the story is what holds our attention. The story is what captivates and motivates us to turn the page.
Your life story is still being written. Maybe things haven’t gone exactly the way you planned. Maybe you’ve got writer’s block and you’re not sure what direction you should take in life. Or you feel stuck in a “Choose your own ending” type book and you don’t want to make the wrong decision and get started down a path you can’t get away from.
But here’s the deal, your life is your story and the world needs to hear it. Even if you’re feeling like a minor character in your own world, maybe you’re on the cusp of a great adventure that will catapult you into being the hero. Regardless of your stage in life, you matter and your story matters. Share your story and be amazed at the power of your life.