I have a confession to make...I used to be afraid of the month of April.
It’s silly, I know, but it’s true. For years, something devastating would happen in the month of April. Events like a family member dying, a severe car accident, putting the dog down, and the worst of them all, our house fire. It’s been 15 years ago now, but when April comes around my thoughts turn toward the time in our lives when we lost everything on April 3, 2004.
It was a sunny Saturday morning and the dirty snow piles were yielding to the warmer weather. I was attempting to welcome the spring by cleaning the winter-beaten windows and inviting some fresh air inside, even though I had to stop and rest often to nurse my 8-week old baby and redirect my 2 year old as he played. Their dad was working and their two siblings were at their grandparents house.
It was late in the afternoon when my husband came home, parked his car in the garage, and went to get cleaned up. It was only a few minutes later when I smelled something unusual. I couldn’t place it as a normal country-living-smell. Our neighbor wasn’t burning trash or leaves. This was different - like plastic and oil burning hot.
I glanced out the front window to see plumes of white smoke billowing out of our garage. I ran to the door only to discover flames shooting out from my husband’s car.
I screamed for help.
---
We don’t anticipate the fires in our lives. We welcome the restful rain that soothes our souls, the warm sunshine that gives us hope, and the crisp breezes that blow away the unnecessary fluff that clutters our lives. But fire is an unforeseen event that is hard to prepare for. A fire is unforgiving and will gnaw and chew through anything in it’s way. It doesn’t regard an irreplaceable homemade Christmas decoration or love letters that were written by teenagers who fell in love and got married. Fire destroys all in it’s path until it can be beaten back by water which ironically also destroys.
---
We lost everything that day. The fire that began in the garage (next to gas cans and hunting ammunition) shot through the rooftops, blasted through the empty attic, and burned the house top down. Thankfully no one was injured as we stood in the backyard and watched the firemen get the blaze under control.
It took months to find normality again. Homeless, yet still paying a mortgage, we shifted to temporary housing as we planned to rebuild our home.
The charred house was bulldozed sometime in July, nearly 3 months after the fire. In this picture, you’ll notice the iris that grew through the ashes and broken glass. Even though the bulldozing was necessary in order to rebuild, I couldn’t watch. I couldn’t face seeing all the memories stored inside that home razed to the ground in a few moments.
When we experience fires in life that destroy, it paves the way for a rebuilding process. The alternative is to remain inside the rubble and lament over what was lost. Believe me, I did plenty of that, but I couldn’t LIVE there.
The book of Nehemiah has been a tremendous comfort to me as I’ve experienced seasons of being torn down and seasons of being rebuilt. If you’re unfamiliar with the story, Nehemiah was working in another city serving a king. He learned of his city sitting in shambles and with permission of his employer, he set out to rebuild the wall.
But there was opposition. His “frenemies” mocked him, sent him accusing letters, and tried to trap him into sin, but Nehemiah pressed on. I want to talk more about this another time, but I want to leave you with this final thought. If you’re in a season of rebuilding, meditate on this scripture.
“Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, great and awesome, and fight for (your family). Those who built on the wall, and those who carried burdens, loaded themselves so that with one hand they worked at construction, and with the other held a weapon.”
Nehemiah 4:14 & 17
The rebuilding process is arduous and sometimes even those closest to you will not understand your struggle. Don’t be discouraged. Rebuild with one hand and fight with the other. You ARE equipped for this. In your weakness God’s strength can move through you. Rely on Him to get you through this.