Growth

5 Minutes to Change Your Day

You know how nice it is when someone sends you a text or an old-school note in the mail? It’s nothing specific except to extend that they have been thinking of you, praying for you, or just want to let you know how grateful they are for you?

It doesn’t happen often, right? In this age of technology, to receive a handwritten note from someone with a word of encouragement is so thoughtful. When it takes less than a minute to send a text, it takes much more time and preparation to write a note on a card, address the envelope, put a stamp on it, and mail it. 

My mentor used to say we have “thought notes” in our heads, but we often don’t do anything about it. A “thought note” could be when we are feeling grateful for that old friend who's been with us through thick and thin, but we don’t express our gratitude. It’s a “thought note.” We think about what we’d say, but we don’t actually say it. 

Why do you think that is? Is it a risk of being vulnerable? Or looking foolish? Or feeling too mushy? Maybe all of these excuses, or none of them. But maybe your words will brighten someone’s day, or make their week, or give them the hope they’ve been needing.

But maybe your words will brighten someone’s day, or make their week, or give them the hope they’ve been needing..png

A former teacher of mine once showed me a plastic bag he kept in his classroom stuffed with cards. These handwritten notes and cards were ones he received from parents and students throughout his years of teaching. He said when he was feeling discouraged about his job he would open the bag and read through the notes. The words of gratitude and encouragement would give him strength to stay the course. 

I want to challenge you this week. When you have a “thought note” about someone in your life, transfer it from your brain to a card. Take your gratitude for your child’s teacher, or your neighbor, or your employer, tell them about it. It will only take you 5 minutes. It could change someone’s day. It might even change your day.

Will You Ever Be The Same After Life Knocks You Down?

They say a picture is worth 1,000 words. Take a minute to look at this picture and tell me what you see.

I see a tree that has been beaten down to a breaking point, but somehow fought to stay alive.

This tree reminded me of myself. Maybe it reminds you of yourself too.

My husband and I were recently at La Jolla Cove in San Diego. We were captivated as we watched the cute baby seals frolic in the water while their mothers were nearby sunbathing or barking at them to play nicely. As we walked along the boardwalk I noticed this tree. At first, I thought it was dead because of its humble posture toward the ground, but I quickly realized I was mistaken.

I couldn’t find any research about this tree, so I’d like to propose it has weathered many storms. It sits on top of a cliff overlooking La Jolla beach, facing the vast Pacific Ocean where the pristine waters can be seen 30 feet down. I don’t know when this tree first sprouted or when it fell over, but by the root system I’m going to assume it was once a healthy robust tree, enjoying the salty sprays of the ocean, the cool summer breezes, and the idyllic location of water-front property.

And yet, despite it’s best efforts to grow a storm knocked it down to near oblivion.

Can you relate? Storms seemingly come out of nowhere and break us at our roots, shatter our backbone, and cause us to cry up to the living God “Why is this happening?”

I don’t know why we have storms. I know Christ suffered and through his suffering, He was made perfect (Heb 5:8-9). I know in our suffering we can glorify God (1 Pet 4:14). But suffering can really suck the life out of you and make you question everything you’ve ever known.

I have FOUGHT to stay alive after weathering the storms of life. There were times I was so beaten down by life and cursed by the voice of the accuser that I thought I would live in my pain and suffering forever. But the voice of TRUTH reminded me of my value. My purpose. My place as a daughter of the King and I began to dig down deep. I found courage and began to soak up the rivers of hope that rejuvenated my soul.

I may have been knocked down, but I’m too feisty and too stubborn to stay down forever. My regrowth took a long time. And I feel I’m still crooked in some ways, but I’m alive and I’m shooting my hands toward heaven in efforts to praise God for bringing me through the storm and healing me from it’s effects.  

That is my prayer for you, my friend. If you have been broken at the core of your being and are not sure how you can ever stand up after this, take heart. Find hope. Encourage yourself in the Lord (1 Sam 30:6) and look to Him for strength. He WILL strengthen your heart.

Through the Fire and Back Again

I have a confession to make...I used to be afraid of the month of April.

It’s silly, I know, but it’s true. For years, something devastating would happen in the month of April. Events like a family member dying, a severe car accident, putting the dog down, and the worst of them all, our house fire. It’s been 15 years ago now, but when April comes around my thoughts turn toward the time in our lives when we lost everything on April 3, 2004.

It was a sunny Saturday morning and the dirty snow piles were yielding to the warmer weather. I was attempting to welcome the spring by cleaning the winter-beaten windows and inviting some fresh air inside, even though I had to stop and rest often to nurse my 8-week old baby and redirect my 2 year old as he played. Their dad was working and their two siblings were at their grandparents house.

It was late in the afternoon when my husband came home, parked his car in the garage, and went to get cleaned up. It was only a few minutes later when I smelled something unusual. I couldn’t place it as a normal country-living-smell. Our neighbor wasn’t burning trash or leaves. This was different - like plastic and oil burning hot.

I glanced out the front window to see plumes of white smoke billowing out of our garage. I ran to the door only to discover flames shooting out from my husband’s car.

I screamed for help.

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We don’t anticipate the fires in our lives. We welcome the restful rain that soothes our souls, the warm sunshine that gives us hope, and the crisp breezes that blow away the unnecessary fluff that clutters our lives. But fire is an unforeseen event that is hard to prepare for. A fire is unforgiving and will gnaw and chew through anything in it’s way. It doesn’t regard an irreplaceable homemade Christmas decoration or love letters that were written by teenagers who fell in love and got married. Fire destroys all in it’s path until it can be beaten back by water which ironically also destroys.

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We lost everything that day. The fire that began in the garage (next to gas cans and hunting ammunition) shot through the rooftops, blasted through the empty attic, and burned the house top down. Thankfully no one was injured as we stood in the backyard and watched the firemen get the blaze under control.

It took months to find normality again. Homeless, yet still paying a mortgage, we shifted to temporary housing as we planned to rebuild our home.

The charred house was bulldozed sometime in July, nearly 3 months after the fire. In this picture, you’ll notice the iris that grew through the ashes and broken glass. Even though the bulldozing was necessary in order to rebuild, I couldn’t watch. I couldn’t face seeing all the memories stored inside that home razed to the ground in a few moments.

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When we experience fires in life that destroy, it paves the way for a rebuilding process. The alternative is to remain inside the rubble and lament over what was lost. Believe me, I did plenty of that, but I couldn’t LIVE there.

The book of Nehemiah has been a tremendous comfort to me as I’ve experienced seasons of being torn down and seasons of being rebuilt. If you’re unfamiliar with the story, Nehemiah was working in another city serving a king. He learned of his city sitting in shambles and with permission of his employer, he set out to rebuild the wall.

But there was opposition. His “frenemies” mocked him, sent him accusing letters, and tried to trap him into sin, but Nehemiah pressed on. I want to talk more about this another time, but I want to leave you with this final thought. If you’re in a season of rebuilding, meditate on this scripture.

“Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, great and awesome, and fight for (your family). Those who built on the wall, and those who carried burdens, loaded themselves so that with one hand they worked at construction, and with the other held a weapon.”

Nehemiah 4:14 & 17

The rebuilding process is arduous and sometimes even those closest to you will not understand your struggle. Don’t be discouraged. Rebuild with one hand and fight with the other. You ARE equipped for this. In your weakness God’s strength can move through you. Rely on Him to get you through this.

Power-Infused Truth Bombs

In Joshua 1:9, the Lord tells Joshua to be strong and courageous. Moses has just died and Joshua was stepping into his shoes as the leader of the Israelites. Talk about an intimidating job. But the Lord, in his goodness, spoke words of truth over Joshua. His words were not empty fillers, but power-infused truth bombs meant to build Joshua up from the inside out. The command to be strong and courageous left his mouth and into the heart of Joshua giving him firm resolve to not operate in his own power, but to rely on the empowerment from the Lord.

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Oh, if we could follow this model. How different would our day be?

I’ve been meditating on this verse for a while and if I’m honest, it’s been a verse I’ve leaned on quite heavily this year. As I was meditating I pondered why both strength and courage are spoken. Aren’t they similar? Why say the same thing twice?

Be strong.

Strength is not something you can fake from the outside. It’s something that builds from the inside out, but it doesn’t build by accident. You have to lift weights or create resistance to build muscles. Our faith journey consists of moments of weight training and resistance training. Weight training is when you try something a bit harder, more challenging and taking more risk in your faith than you’ve attempted before. It pushes you to the next level of faith or reminds you to lift more frequently. Resistance training is when you experience push-back. When you’re rejected, or thought badly of, or something doesn’t go right when you’re brave. Resistance training prepares you for the mental and emotional challenges of stepping out in faith. This is what it means to be strong in the Lord - the internal fortitude that drives us to have courage.

Be courageous.

Courage is the external evidence that we’re stepping out in faith-going beyond our normal boundaries. You can be courageous on the inside, but if you keep it trapped inside, is it really courage? Being courageous requires action. It’s the first step on shaky ground where you don’t know what the outcome will be. Being courageous means you draw from the well of strength within you and pour it out through steps of courage. They are separate entities, but they work together. Being brave is the gasoline to the engine of courage.

What has the Lord been speaking to you? Is he asking you to go beyond your comfort zone and step out in an area that requires strength and courage? It’s terrifying, right? Here’s what sweetens the deal...God not only gives us strength and courage, but HE IS WITH US WHEREVER WE GO!

My 1,000 pound burden just got lifted. God doesn’t tell me nice things and then wish me good luck. He speaks strength and courage to me and then reminds me He’s with me every step of the way. His presence is everything! His presence is what gets me through the day.


Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take. Josh 1:9 (MSG)

This is my command-- be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (NLT)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified or dismayed (intimidated), for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (AMP)

How to Position Yourself for the New Year

Have you been successful with New Year’s Resolutions?

Me neither.

In the past, I’d make lofty goals without any roadmap of how to get there. Within the first 90 days my resolutions would fall off the edge of the earth and I’d be back where I started.

Some years have been so tough that I was thankful to survive the year and glad to see it in the rearview mirror. Like 2016. THAT was a tough year for me. From January to December it was a battle. Some days I didn’t know how I’d survive. It kicked me down all the way into the end of 2017. When 2018 began I knew I needed to do something different. Rather than merely surviving the year, I needed to proactively overcome the year. I needed a shift in my thinking.

Here are 3 things I did to be more proactive in my year:

Reflect back on the year. If you journal, look back at your journal and think about all the highs and lows. Take a moment to breathe in gratitude for the highs and lows. The highs are more pleasant to think about, obviously, but the lows do something in our character that the highs can’t ever touch. What happened in you after the lows? What part of God was revealed during that time? How did you grow through it?

Think outside the box. It seems that resolutions revolve around physical health. While that’s a good goal, I think it sells us short to looking at the bigger picture of our lives. For me, I wrote down different categories of potential areas I wanted to grow in:

Spiritual

Relational

Physical

Professional

Financial

Personal

I spent several days thinking and praying about each area and wrote down specific things I wanted to see improvement or growth in myself. Some categories had a few items, some categories had nothing. It was merely a guideline for me to create a starting line for my year. The biggest one for me in 2018 was to do one self-care thing a month. I wrote about that HERE if you want to read about my journey.

Give yourself grace. I say this a lot, but it rings true. We, as women, are far harder on ourselves than our friends around us. We can be our own worst enemy and set impossible standards for ourselves. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and press into what you have grace for.

In fact, giving grace to myself is one of my goals this year. As we step into the new year I’m looking down a long list of life-events for my family; my daughter getting married, a son graduating and going to college, and another son moving out. I want to be fully present for all these things and I need to give myself grace to be able to navigate through it all successfully.

What are some things you’re aiming to grow in 2019? How will you position yourself to be proactive in your goals? I believe in you. Be brave and strong as you take on the new year like the courageous woman I know you can be.

Cultivating a Heart Posture of Gratefulness

If it’s one thing that makes me roll my eyes, it’s cheesy catch-phrases. One that is overly used during this season of Thanksgiving is, “An Attitude of Gratitude.” I know, I know, it’s a good reminder, but I think I avoid it for its sheer cheesiness.

In the last few years, I’ve really worked at having not just an attitude of gratitude, but a heart posture of gratefulness.

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It sounds the same, doesn’t it?

For me, I think it’s different. I can change my attitude in the situation, but that attitude won’t necessarily affect my heart. My attitude could be merely showing the external attempt to avoid pain or embarrassment. However, a heart posture of gratefulness shows a deeper work being done within me. It shows that my words and actions stem from a source of gratitude, not just an attitude that I can adjust when the wind changes.

A heart posture of gratefulness means I’ve anchored myself in the hope of Jesus Christ and my gratitude emerges from that hope. It’s reposturing myself to not be spinning spastically with the chaos of the world around me, but to be firmly planted in hope.

If you’re wondering what this looks like in a practical sense, take a minute to be still and focus your thoughts toward Jesus and his great love for you. Anchor your heart there for a few minutes. Let the truth of His love and acceptance seep deeply into your soul. Allow thoughts of His faithfulness and truth to captivate your attention. And then begin to cultivate gratitude in your heart. Speak of the things in your life that bless you. Even the small things.

The first sip of hot coffee in the morning.

The way the sunlight dances on the clouds.

The moment of peace where you can take a breath.

For the Lord loving you when you don’t even love yourself.

For having a pillow to rest your head.

For…(you fill in the blank)

Want to take this a step further? The next time you see someone you’re grateful for, tell them. Don’t just think about it, tell them what they mean to you, write them a note of encouragement, send them a text.

I’m grateful for you, dear friend.

One Way You're Reflecting God's Nature

One of the things I appreciate about social media is I get a chance to see the projects you’re working on. Whether you paint, sew, do crafts, take photos, dance, or whatever, I love seeing you thrive in doing the thing that recharges your soul.

I think when we’re in the mode of creating we are reflecting the creative side of God. After all, He is the creator of all things and we are like Him when we enjoy creating something. When I write I’d like to think I partner with the imaginative side of God so I can adequately express things that are on His heart.

Right now I’m participating in National Novel Writing Month. It’s a world-wide community that encourages each other to write 50,000 words in the month of November. That’s roughly 1,700 words each day. It’s been a few years since I’ve attempted this tremendous feat, but what I love about it is the daily prodding to keep tapping the creative side of my brain. Or in other words, I play with my imaginary friends that I’ve created in my head and write down their story. (If you’re curious, I’m sharing my progress on my Facebook page HERE). When I’m creating a story, I feel like I’m partnering with God because ultimately I’m telling His story woven through my words. For me, it’s a truly beautiful thing.

What project are you currently working on? Next time you’re working on it ask God how it’s reflecting His nature. Enjoy partnering with Him in expressing your creative side.

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What Do You Smell Like?

Recently, during some travel, I stepped inside an airport terminal and the pungent aroma of raw onions assailed my nostrils. It was so pervasive and strong that I wondered if was a nearby restaurant chopping up bucketfuls of onions, or if it was a result of body odor from the masses of surrounding people as we stood in the long security lines. Either way, the smell was not pleasant.

In fact, during that trip, there were a few times where some unwelcome odors altered the atmosphere. Like the woman who rode on the 2-hour shuttle with her poor dog who was literally covered in poop. Or the man on the plane who smelled like he hadn’t showered in weeks.

As my olfactory senses were in overdrive, it got me thinking about my own stinkiness. And I don’t mean my sweaty stench after a workout, but my spiritual smell.

Let me clarify. When the woman with the poo-covered doggie stepped onto the shuttle, the atmosphere changed. Instead of reading my book in peace, I had to bury my nose in my sweater to avoid the foul air. How did the woman not smell her dog hours ago? How could she not know how bad the smell was?

That’s exactly my point.

If I have a crappy attitude or I’m being judgmental then I’m releasing an odor around me that’s not reflective of the love of God. Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God (2 Cor 2:15a). How is my life changing the atmosphere? When I step into the room do those around me feel the presence of God? Do they sense His love and acceptance?

What do you think about this? Let me know in the comments below.

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I love Jesus, but I'm Still Learning How to Not be a Jerk

Part of being an adult is to not be a jerk. It’s simple I know, but seriously. A few weeks ago I had to email someone whose help I needed. Her response to my plea for help was very passive-aggressive and narcissistic. Yikes! Go back to Rule #1 of adulthood - don’t be a jerk.

I love words and they can be very powerful, so as soon as I received this woman’s response I immediately began crafting a sharp response that would get my point across and make some digs at her jerkiness the same time. Do you see what’s happening here? I was violating my own rule.

A wise friend once told me to give it 24 hours before responding to something like this. So, I walked away from the email and while I was cooling off, in the back of my mind (the way, way back) I heard this still small voice that asked me, “Will she see Jesus in you?”

Pffft! No. Not if I respond like a jerk! She probably gets responses like that all the time. And then I heard the question in my heart again but phrased another way, “How can you be Jesus to her?”

But, I don’t want to be like Jesus to her. She should be a professional. She should know better!

Right. But will you be Jesus to her?

I thought about this a while. Yes. I will.

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So, I took a deep breath and re-crafted my email, this time with a word of encouragement and gratitude, and my original request for help was granted.

Who in your life rubs you the wrong way? How can you be Jesus to them? It’s hard, I know. Ask the Lord how He sees that person and get His perspective. Let me know how you do. You matter, dear friend. Your story matters.