Sibling Rivalries and Family Drama

In my current WIP (Work in Progress), my main characters are teenage sisters Anna, Katie, and Julia. If you have sisters, then you understand the type of drama that can be part of the day to day life. Even though my characters are set in Steampunk California in the late 1800s, they too have difficulties in navigating their way.

What I love about these sisters is they portray the challenges all teenagers face at some point during their awkward stage of pre-adulthood. Struggles like loneliness, betrayal, searching for truth and identity while wanting to be part of their family, but individuals as well.

Katie, the eldest sister, has raised her siblings. She wasn’t ready to take care of her sisters when her parents abandoned them as children, but there was no one else, so she stepped into a role that she was ill prepared for. Julia, the proverbial middle child, is spoiled and selfish, but she has a deep churning within her own heart to achieve greatness, even if others raise their eyebrows at her methods. Anna, the baby of the family, has a tendency to be overlooked by others, but she has opinions of her own that she’s just learning to vocalize.

As in any story, I find myself relating to characters in many ways. In my current WIP I relate to Anna because she’s finding her voice. As a writer, I speak through my characters, but I also relate to their struggles. What characters do you find yourself relating to?

How to Deal with Stupid Lies

Last week I shared a story of how a woman’s well-meaning concern triggered an old fear in me (click HERE if you missed it). False information can send our hearts pounding and our minds frozen. This week I want to unpack how to replace that false information with the truth.

The false information I shared last week was thinking my house was on fire. Even though it’s been many years since I lost everything in a house fire, I still have deeply embedded memories that are activated with the sight of smoke, a burning smell, or sometimes even a loud bang. When the aftermath of the fire was still fresh I was afraid to leave our home for fear it would burn while I was gone. When I would venture out I would inevitably hear the voice of fear telling me my house was on fire again.

It’s hard to be free when lies paralyze you with fear. Truth is the antidote.

In my own battle against the lies about my house burning again I took the word of God literally and began using scripture as a weapon. Every time I heard the lie, “Your house is burning,” I began slicing it with the truth; trust and faith in God that He would take care of me. I would recite (in my head or sometimes under my breath) the first few verses from the book of James; count it all joy my brethren when you fall into various trials...let patience have its perfect work...if you lack wisdom ask of God.

I definitely lacked wisdom during that time. Taking my fearful thoughts and shifting the focus off me to the wisdom of God helped calm my spirit and realize I’m not alone in this fight. As I look back at all the trials I’ve overcome through the years there is always an overarching theme or truth from scripture that helped me win the battle.

What fear are you battling? What scripture can you use to slice through that fear? You are powerful and stronger than you think!

This Information Made My Heart Pound...

The other day I was getting ready to take my son to school when a woman stopped in front of our driveway and told my son something was smoking in our backyard. I was still in the house gathering my purse and keys when he told me so I scurried outside to see what was going on. I could certainly smell smoke, but our backyard is mostly the pool surrounded by fencing.

Nothing was smoking. But the landscapers in my neighbor’s yard were firing up their weed-whackers letting out streams of smoke.

But my heart was pounding as if the whole backyard was engulfed.

And my fear of losing my house in a house fire flooded my brain.

What the well-meaning woman didn’t know was that I’ve survived a house fire. She had no idea that her concern would trigger the pain from my past; the pain of loss and fear of fire that took me years to heal from.

It took me a few hours to calm my pounding heart and frightened spirit. I had to recognize what triggered my emotions was false information and replace it with the truth.

Have you dealt with that? Your day is fine and then something triggers a memory or a feeling and suddenly you’re feeling depressed or afraid. Maybe it’s an off-hand remark that reminds you of something shameful from your past and ruins your whole day. Or an image or memory that points to an emotional wound that hasn’t healed. Next time you have this try to back up the day’s events and uncover what triggered your feelings. Recognize what is real and what is false information.

Next week I’ll talk about what to do next; replacing the false information with the truth. But until then, know that you matter and your story matters.