I’ve never been a very good gift giver. It’s not that I don’t enjoy giving gifts, I do, but I’m just not good at the bows and packaging. To me, it’s almost like a craft which has never been my strength. Despite my gift-giving deficiencies, I do enjoy thinking about giving things to my loved ones that I know would bring them joy.
There’s one gift that can be given all year round and yet it’s the hardest to give.
The gift of forgiveness.
This time of year can stir up all sorts of old hurts and offenses when we’re surrounded by people. So, what’s a girl to do when there are scabs of unforgiveness are picked at the holiday party? The choice is to continue to let the pain fester or to finally let it heal once and for all.
Forgiveness is not a one-hit-wonder. It’s not a singular moment where you “feel” like you’ve finally forgiven, you’ve finally healed from the source of pain. Rather it’s a posture of the heart to release the person from their offense. It doesn’t condone their behavior or excuse it. Forgiveness allows you to let go of the pain and make room for God to heal your hurt.
There have been times where I’ve had to forgive a person daily, sometimes hourly. If you’re in this cycle, keep going, keep forgiving. A wise friend once told me you’ll know you’re finally healed when you’re able to look back on the situation and feel peace instead of pain. If getting to the place of healing means removing yourself from toxic people, then take the necessary steps towards that. Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing the person to continually infect your life with their toxicity. Be wise about protecting your heart and your family.
If you’ve held forgiveness hostage, then try to take the first steps toward your freedom. In your prayer times tell the Lord you forgive this person. Don’t shame yourself if you don’t “feel” like you’ve forgiven them. Remember, it takes time. You’ll have to keep forgiving them until all the pain is out of your heart.
Be brave, dear one. Forgiveness is never easy, but it’s absolutely necessary to live a free and fulfilled life. You can do this.
