My Life is Based on a True Story

Living life is like a choose-your-own-mystery-story. I have dreams and ideas about the direction I want to go with my writing, but I’m still not sure how all things are going to pan out. I’ve been writing for several years now, but I’ve yet to have any of my manuscripts published. 

Currently, I’ve been revising (again) my YA novel Dreams that Awaken (working title). This book is about an orphan girl living in Steampunk Northern California who encounters Jesus in her dreams. I was inspired when I read a book a few years ago about Muslims in the Middle East who are serving Allah, yet begin to have dreams of Jesus. They awaken with this desire to seek him out in the daytime. They find him and give their lives to Christ when they realize his great love for them. I was fascinated about the idea of God using our dream-time to infiltrate our hearts and minds with his presence and purpose.

I love the creative process of writing and developing characters who deal with struggles much like our own. Searching for an agent and publisher is not for the faint at heart. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve my manuscript has been rejected. It’s never fun, but it’s always an opportunity to grow. Where my manuscript stands now is much stronger than where it was last year at this time.

Speaking of last year, I’m on the cusp of celebrating my website’s one-year anniversary! I purposefully chose to launch it on July 14 because that was the day I suffered the largest rejection of my life. I wanted to do something positive on the same day that nearly took out my desire to live. It’s been a long road of recovery; seeking truth, healing deep emotional gashes, finding myself again, and remembering my identity as a daughter of the Most High God. 

My life is based on a true story. It’s messy and full of mistakes. It’s silly and outrageous, but it’s mine. I have a vision for what I’d like to see down the road, but I’m determined to not let my future dictated by my past. I took a class by Brene Brown a few years ago that helped me develop bravery and courage. I think she says it best. 

“When we deny our stories it defines us. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending.”

What are you dreaming about for your story? Is there anything in the past that’s presenting itself as a major roadblock? If so, what needs to happen to get it out of the way? Your life is based on a true story. In what area do you need to find courage to live it well? 

Find it.

You can do this.

I believe in you. 

To celebrate the anniversary of the website, will you do me a favor? Will you share this blog (or another post that you enjoyed) with a friend and invite them to follow my website? I’m so grateful for you, dear reader. 

How Can I Help Support You This Year?

You are the reason I write.

You are the reason I blog.

How can I support you this year? What are your goals? What are your pains that need prayer?

You are brave. You are strong. Telling your story is important.

You matter. Your story matters.

This is Not the Crown I Was Expecting

I was sitting in the dentist chair clenching my toes, trying to relax, yet failing miserably.

“Are you okay?” The dentist asked in her broken English.

“Yeah.” I lied.

I recited Isaiah 26:3 in my head, “He will keep me in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him because I trust in Him.” I forced my muscles to relax and tried to press down my anxiety as the jarring noise of the dentist’s drill continued.

Talk to me. I heard the gentle nudge in my spirit.

Desperate to get my mind on anything else other than the work being done in my mouth, I responded. In my spirit, I said, “Okay, Lord. Let’s talk. Where are you right now?” I closed my eyes and imagined the Lord in the dentist chair with me.

I’m here, with you. I’m fixing what’s broken.

I was getting a crown on a molar that had cracked after I suffered trauma. It wasn’t my fault the tooth broke, and yet here I was shelling out hundreds of dollars to get it repaired. And despite my brokenness, the Lord reminded me He was with me and has my wholeness in mind. Isn’t the Lord so sweet?

As a daughter of the King, I know who I am. I know whose I am. My good Father has promised me a crown.

I’m on my way; I’ll be there soon. Keep a tight grip on what you have so no one

distracts you and steals your crown. Revelation 3:11

Are you dealing with the after-effects of trauma or suffering? Did part of your heart break because of it? Ask the Lord where He was during that time. Let His presence bring peace and comfort to your soul. He has a crown for you, it just may not be what you expected.

I'm Not a Survivor

A few years ago I endured severe emotional trauma. At the time, I knew I couldn’t climb my way out of the debilitating depression and feelings of worthlessness, so I reached out for professional help.

The counseling helped, but after many months I still didn’t feel “healed.” My heart still ached. I still wasn’t sleeping at night and I battled the lies in my head on a daily basis. At times I believed I would live with the wound forever. After all, the apostle Paul talked about a wound in his side that refused to be healed. Maybe this was to be my wound that I would carry for the rest of my life.

The two-year anniversary of the trauma came and went. I had hoped with that amount of time I would see myself rising above the fog, but I was still experienced heartache and sadness.

And then one morning I woke up.

I can’t explain it other than it felt like I was waking up for the first time. It was as if the fog had lifted and I was able to breathe again. I felt more alive, more fully present, more like myself-the person I knew before the trauma.

It took a few days for me to realize this new awakening wasn’t going to wear off. I journaled my experience. I shared it with my husband. It was as if I was alive again!

I felt prompted to see how many days had passed since the trauma. I’ve learned to not reason away those small nudges, sometimes it’s the Lord wanting me to see or hear something. So, I pulled up a website that calculated the number of days between the two dates.

Guess how many days between trauma to healing?

777 days.

I’m not smart enough to plan something that timely, something that perfect, something that beautifully expressed by my heavenly Father. But there it was, the length of time representing the number of perfection, completion, and presence of the Lord. I did not survive the emotional trauma, I purposefully looked for it on the horizon, I prayed for it, I endured it, I overcame it.

All that time between trauma and healing the Lord was working.

If you are stuck in a murky fog right now, don’t despair. Keep bringing your life to the Lord and trust that He will bring you out of it. You won’t just survive the ordeal, you WILL overcome it.  

How Are You Caring for Your Soul?

At the beginning of this year, I made it a goal to take better care of myself. I’ve always been one to put the needs of others above my own. This may sound noble, but in reality, I’m a master of neglecting myself.

For this year, I’ve purposed to do at least one act of self-care each month. Most things are obvious like taking myself to the doctor for my annual checkup or going to the dentist. Some are more fun like an afternoon pedicure or going away for the weekend with a friend.

But it’s been during my weekly walks/run I’ve discovered that walking and listening to a podcast or worship music is the best self-care I can do for myself. In some ways, I’m taking care of my spirit, soul, and body in one motion. My spirit feels rejuvenated by listening to a good message while my heart is pumping blood through my body. And my soul is uplifted by spending time drawing closer to the Lord as I exercise my heart and spirit.

Attending to the needs of others has its benefits, but not at the expense of your own soul. How are you caring for your soul? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

It sucks to be in the valley...

Mountaintop experiences are amazing. It takes a huge amount of work to conquer a challenge and you're feeling on top of the world. But then, inevitably the valley floor comes to greet you as you trip and fall down the mountainside. The brief moment of euphoria doesn't last long. The valley is endless, dry, and a soul-sucking time warp that makes you think you'll be here forever. 

You may be thinking, "Will I ever feel normal again?" or "Will I ever have this sorrow out of my heart?" It's painful now, I know, but joy is around the corner. When I was living in the valley, I found this verse and it brought refreshing to my cracked-heart.

Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand new.
It's bursting out! Don't you see it?
(Isaiah 43:18-19 MSG)

Get through this valley and when you look back, look for ways God matured you. And keep a ready eye on the horizon for your next mountaintop experience. It's bursting out! Don't you see it?