Dare to Believe God has a Destiny for Women - Kristi Graner

I was privileged to cross paths with Kristi in 2015. I was immediately struck by her confidence and knowledge of the word of God. As a female pastor, Kristi has braved many hills and valleys in letting her voice be heard in an environment that tends to discredit women because of gender. Lean in and hear the heart of her story and gather courage for your own journey.

Becoming a pastor in the 70s and 80s took a lot of courage. Women didn’t do that, but as a Christian leader, Kristi knew she needed to follow her calling. There were many who debated with Kristi through theological arguments against women becoming leaders in the church. It was a time without any female mentors in Christian leadership who could come alongside Kristi and give her hope.

When Kristi was first out of college she visited a church with a part-time female pastor who led Bible study. She dared to dream that she could actually do that someday. She served on staff for 20 years helping adults become who they were created to be. Even though Kristi had her Masters Degree of Theology and Spiritual Formation, her opinion was valued at a disproportionate degree. She was officially ordained in 2000 but has been doing church leadership since 1990.

“When you have leadership gifts you just lead, but I still dial back my leadership so I don’t offend those around me. I still encounter prejudice as a female pastor. I don’t know what it’s like to be prejudiced against for my race or color, but I do understand what it’s like to be discounted just because I am female. The spiritual garbage is the enemy discounts people over something they have no control over (race, color, sex).” 

Kristi is grateful for the men in leadership who knew that it was God’s plan that men and women would partner in ministry. She had to learn how to be herself and lead. In the beginning, one pastor gave her the opportunity to teach but wanted her to do it just like him. If she didn’t do it just like him, she would get corrected. A friend encouraged her to be herself. You’re never going to be what you’re supposed to be if you keep trying to be someone else. Kristi came across Ed Silvoso’s book Women: God’s Secret Weapon. This was a huge breakthrough for her. Ed’s book outlined the need to understand that the attack against the body of Christ is men and women not partnering together. We’re designed to partner together. Kristi had to be ready with an answer by those who opposed her and prepared with a theological argument every time she did anything. Every time Kristi stepped out in ministry people would applaud, but there were always the critics who said Kristi was in sin for teaching because she is a woman. 

Despite her years of leadership, Kristi still battled fear of being a female leader, fear of doing something morally wrong. But through prayerful encounters with the Lord, Kristi realized the biggest lies that come against people are against their destiny. Including the lie that most women who struggle with being devalued for their gender, “If I would’ve been a man, this would’ve been a lot easier.” 

Through an encounter with the Lord, Kristi realized she had a barrier of self-protection. She had boxed herself in and blamed everyone else. She had believed the lie that it wasn’t safe to be a woman in leadership. This began the journey for Kristi to leave her church position of 20 years and begin Dare to Believe ministries. 

Not long after beginning Dare to Believe, Kristi went to an event with other pastors in her area where they were praying and prophesying over each other. One pastor came over to her, laid his hand upon her head, and began to pray. But he stopped mid-sentence and said out loud, “But Lord, she’s a woman!” The word the Lord had spoken to the man was messing with his theology. Kristi used to fight the battle herself, but when she relaxed after the wall came down she trusted that the Lord was defending her. She rested in the place of peace, rather than a place of victimized anger. This made a huge difference. 

Kristi now understood the value of trusting God to be her protection. She used to be mad at God for putting her in the position, thinking she had to figure it out. That he wasn’t for her. But to be on the other side of that she knows the Lord is protecting her. Even if people don’t like women in leadership, God is for women. Instead of believing the lie that she had to take care of herself, Kristi was now armed with the truth that she is not an orphan. She would watch as Father God would take care of her. 

So, how can we get our hearts in a good posture so we can get into the “I’m not an orphan” mentality? Kristi would encourage you to seek inner healing to reveal the lies that are in us (probably since childhood). Working on your relationship with the Lord to know you are not alone in this. The Lord is FOR you. Like a farmer who picks the rocks out of the field every spring,  we’re never done with our heart healing. In different seasons, we have to get rid of certain rocks that hinder what the Lord is planting in us. If we don’t get rid of the rocks then the season won’t be as fruitful.

If you’re a woman in ministry or dreaming of stepping into a place of leadership, you don’t need to dial back your strength to make the insecurities of others feel better. Have trusted people who will tell you the truth because we don’t always see the things inside of us that we need to deal with. 

You are valuable because you’re a woman, not in spite of being a woman. The enemy is afraid of you because you’re a woman. He wants us to stay in that legalistic place. But Jesus has overcome. Know yourself and know that you were created to be beautiful and powerful and you have a voice. If that’s not happening, you need to partner with the Lord and get healed from that. He is your protection and will open the doors and give you strategies. 

Want to hear more from Kristi? Visit her website Dare To Believe and add her on Facebook.

5 Minutes to Change Your Day

You know how nice it is when someone sends you a text or an old-school note in the mail? It’s nothing specific except to extend that they have been thinking of you, praying for you, or just want to let you know how grateful they are for you?

It doesn’t happen often, right? In this age of technology, to receive a handwritten note from someone with a word of encouragement is so thoughtful. When it takes less than a minute to send a text, it takes much more time and preparation to write a note on a card, address the envelope, put a stamp on it, and mail it. 

My mentor used to say we have “thought notes” in our heads, but we often don’t do anything about it. A “thought note” could be when we are feeling grateful for that old friend who's been with us through thick and thin, but we don’t express our gratitude. It’s a “thought note.” We think about what we’d say, but we don’t actually say it. 

Why do you think that is? Is it a risk of being vulnerable? Or looking foolish? Or feeling too mushy? Maybe all of these excuses, or none of them. But maybe your words will brighten someone’s day, or make their week, or give them the hope they’ve been needing.

A former teacher of mine once showed me a plastic bag he kept in his classroom stuffed with cards. These handwritten notes and cards were ones he received from parents and students throughout his years of teaching. He said when he was feeling discouraged about his job he would open the bag and read through the notes. The words of gratitude and encouragement would give him strength to stay the course. 

I want to challenge you this week. When you have a “thought note” about someone in your life, transfer it from your brain to a card. Take your gratitude for your child’s teacher, or your neighbor, or your employer, tell them about it. It will only take you 5 minutes. It could change someone’s day. It might even change your day.