Dare to Believe God has a Destiny for Women - Kristi Graner

I was privileged to cross paths with Kristi in 2015. I was immediately struck by her confidence and knowledge of the word of God. As a female pastor, Kristi has braved many hills and valleys in letting her voice be heard in an environment that tends to discredit women because of gender. Lean in and hear the heart of her story and gather courage for your own journey.

Becoming a pastor in the 70s and 80s took a lot of courage. Women didn’t do that, but as a Christian leader, Kristi knew she needed to follow her calling. There were many who debated with Kristi through theological arguments against women becoming leaders in the church. It was a time without any female mentors in Christian leadership who could come alongside Kristi and give her hope.

When Kristi was first out of college she visited a church with a part-time female pastor who led Bible study. She dared to dream that she could actually do that someday. She served on staff for 20 years helping adults become who they were created to be. Even though Kristi had her Masters Degree of Theology and Spiritual Formation, her opinion was valued at a disproportionate degree. She was officially ordained in 2000 but has been doing church leadership since 1990.

“When you have leadership gifts you just lead, but I still dial back my leadership so I don’t offend those around me. I still encounter prejudice as a female pastor. I don’t know what it’s like to be prejudiced against for my race or color, but I do understand what it’s like to be discounted just because I am female. The spiritual garbage is the enemy discounts people over something they have no control over (race, color, sex).” 

Kristi is grateful for the men in leadership who knew that it was God’s plan that men and women would partner in ministry. She had to learn how to be herself and lead. In the beginning, one pastor gave her the opportunity to teach but wanted her to do it just like him. If she didn’t do it just like him, she would get corrected. A friend encouraged her to be herself. You’re never going to be what you’re supposed to be if you keep trying to be someone else. Kristi came across Ed Silvoso’s book Women: God’s Secret Weapon. This was a huge breakthrough for her. Ed’s book outlined the need to understand that the attack against the body of Christ is men and women not partnering together. We’re designed to partner together. Kristi had to be ready with an answer by those who opposed her and prepared with a theological argument every time she did anything. Every time Kristi stepped out in ministry people would applaud, but there were always the critics who said Kristi was in sin for teaching because she is a woman. 

Despite her years of leadership, Kristi still battled fear of being a female leader, fear of doing something morally wrong. But through prayerful encounters with the Lord, Kristi realized the biggest lies that come against people are against their destiny. Including the lie that most women who struggle with being devalued for their gender, “If I would’ve been a man, this would’ve been a lot easier.” 

Through an encounter with the Lord, Kristi realized she had a barrier of self-protection. She had boxed herself in and blamed everyone else. She had believed the lie that it wasn’t safe to be a woman in leadership. This began the journey for Kristi to leave her church position of 20 years and begin Dare to Believe ministries. 

Not long after beginning Dare to Believe, Kristi went to an event with other pastors in her area where they were praying and prophesying over each other. One pastor came over to her, laid his hand upon her head, and began to pray. But he stopped mid-sentence and said out loud, “But Lord, she’s a woman!” The word the Lord had spoken to the man was messing with his theology. Kristi used to fight the battle herself, but when she relaxed after the wall came down she trusted that the Lord was defending her. She rested in the place of peace, rather than a place of victimized anger. This made a huge difference. 

Kristi now understood the value of trusting God to be her protection. She used to be mad at God for putting her in the position, thinking she had to figure it out. That he wasn’t for her. But to be on the other side of that she knows the Lord is protecting her. Even if people don’t like women in leadership, God is for women. Instead of believing the lie that she had to take care of herself, Kristi was now armed with the truth that she is not an orphan. She would watch as Father God would take care of her. 

So, how can we get our hearts in a good posture so we can get into the “I’m not an orphan” mentality? Kristi would encourage you to seek inner healing to reveal the lies that are in us (probably since childhood). Working on your relationship with the Lord to know you are not alone in this. The Lord is FOR you. Like a farmer who picks the rocks out of the field every spring,  we’re never done with our heart healing. In different seasons, we have to get rid of certain rocks that hinder what the Lord is planting in us. If we don’t get rid of the rocks then the season won’t be as fruitful.

If you’re a woman in ministry or dreaming of stepping into a place of leadership, you don’t need to dial back your strength to make the insecurities of others feel better. Have trusted people who will tell you the truth because we don’t always see the things inside of us that we need to deal with. 

You are valuable because you’re a woman, not in spite of being a woman. The enemy is afraid of you because you’re a woman. He wants us to stay in that legalistic place. But Jesus has overcome. Know yourself and know that you were created to be beautiful and powerful and you have a voice. If that’s not happening, you need to partner with the Lord and get healed from that. He is your protection and will open the doors and give you strategies. 

Want to hear more from Kristi? Visit her website Dare To Believe and add her on Facebook.

When God Tells You Where to Go...and It’s NOT Working Out! - Sharon Stults

I’ve known Sharon since I was a teenager. Our families crossed paths every summer on vacation. As a pastor’s wife, Sharon has seen her fair share of difficulties and trials, but her story of bravery involves stepping inside the four walls of a classroom. I’m sure many parents and teachers will relate to her experience and gather wisdom from it. Listen in as Sharon shares. 

Armed with her love of music and a teaching degree, Sharon stepped boldly into the classroom at an inner-city school. The previous teacher suffered a nervous breakdown and left mid-way through the year. These students would go through a teacher a year. They had learned that choir class was time to goof off and an easy grade.

With over 60 high school students in her classes, only half the kids were actually interested in singing and wanted to be there. The remaining students ran wild; climbing in and out of the windows, bringing in fast food, and displaying unruly behavior. Sharon resorted to “time out” chairs, in the beginning, to build structure in her class and allow the students who wanted to sing, to sing. Students who didn’t want to join in, but still wanted to pass the class, would flip desks over when Sharon gave them a bad grade. Some sent their parents, who were involved in gangs, to confront and threatened Sharon. It was completely out of control. 

But God didn’t give Sharon release to quit, so she kept pressing on. 

Pushing aside her remorse and disappointment in teaching, and dealing with health issues from the stress and exhausted from battling students all day, Sharon believed that God had a plan. He planted her in the situation and gave her peace in accepting the position, so she made the decision to accept her “war-zone” environment. Sharon pressed into bringing peace amidst her chaotic situation. The Lord began opening Sharon’s eyes to the students who were hopeful, and loved music, and wanted things to work out. She began praying for specific students.

Days and months went by and Sharon kept sticking to her plan of bringing calm to the crazy. When students would cuss her out and throw music in her face, Sharon would respond peacefully expressing disappointment in their sad choices. Students kept hitting her wall of peace and the tide began to turn. Students began trusting her.

God gave Sharon the strength to just keep doing the right thing. Truth will prevail. Rightness will prevail. 

Through it all, Sharon learned valuable lessons about dealing with difficult people that she didn’t have a lot in common with. For example, Sharon struggled with one student who was chronically late. Every morning, this student had to find her drug-addicted mother on any given street corner, drag her back home before she came to school. This was perspective Sharon had never faced before and stoked the fires of empathy within her soul. 

Sharon also had to learn to be authentic. She learned that kindness and caring will cross the bridge of any cultural divide. Take the time to learn why people are so angry. Find out what struggles they’re dealing with in life that makes their life challenging. The Lord was teaching Sharon skills and ways of connecting with people that served her in many other situations in her life. These students didn’t look like her, didn’t sound like her, but the Lord was teaching her ways to connect. 

If God has told you where to go and it is NOT working out, Sharon would encourage you to not quit too early. If it’s too much to handle, don’t assume it’s not from God. Perhaps you’re in the situation to acquire new skills and to reach a new people group for his glory. 

For example, when God led the Israelites out of bondage (Exodus 14), he led them in between water and the army. They didn’t have the street skills for the job. But the Lord tested their faith and wanted to bring them through something. They trusted him in an unusual plan to divide the Red Sea. In the same way, God was testing Sharon and wanted to know if she would trust him. Through her teaching difficulties, Sharon learned that she had some underlying behavior that kept her in her comfort zone, never venturing out to reach others that were different than her. 

Just like the Israelites, Sharon felt the Lord remind her they would go through this together and she would be amazed at what the Lord would do. Like he told the Israelites, “the Egyptians you see today, you will never see again” (Exodus 14:13). Sharon believed if she trusted God to bring her through this, then she would never have to deal with this struggle again. She trusted the Lord to bring her through the difficulty like he led the Israelites through the Red Sea. 

God does not promise that he won’t give us situations that we won’t feel under-qualified, under-skilled, and under-spiritual. God may put you in some fearful places, especially ones you wouldn’t go on your own. Gather prayer partners around you and find some verses to stand on. Believe that God will follow-through where He has led you. Don’t keep questioning his leading. Trust and follow. Press in and see what character development he’s building in you. 

Want to hear more from Sharon? Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Trials and the Mark of a Leader- Emily Klotz

I met Emily and her husband, Dan, at a church conference several years ago. I marveled as I watched  Emily offering encouraging words to those around her, blessing people with her kindness, and speaking wisdom from her deep well of knowledge. I’ll never forget the time she and I met for coffee and she received a text with an urgent request for prayer. She excused herself to spend a few moments in concentrated prayer for that friend. That’s just Emily. She is as authentic and real as they come. So, buckle up and get ready to receive a good word from her.

Before Emily and her husband were senior pastors, they had many years of being under authority so they would know how to handle authority with character and humility. During those many years, there was an incident that was very hurtful. Emily had friends praying over her, but they didn’t know the details of the situation. One of her friends shared the story of the Roman Centurion (read Acts 10) who approached Jesus with a request to heal his servant. When Jesus said he would go, the Roman Centurion said he need not come all the way, just say the word and he knew his servant would be healed.

This story broke Emily because she knew she needed to yield to the authority, whether she agreed with them or not. Emily felt from the Lord that this season of being under authority would prepare her for a season of greater authority and influence. You’re planting seeds for the future with your present sufferings.

Another time Emily remembers a difficult time when unfounded lies were spread about her. God reminded her about the scripture of rejoicing when people speak evil of you (Matthew 5:11). If you’re stuck in this situation, Emily would encourage you to not worry about defending yourself when people are coming against you with baseless accusations. God knows the truth. The lies about you will blow away over time like chaff in the wind. The truth of your character will stand firm. Who you are will stand the test of time. 

Through difficulty, Emily believes we can learn so much about who God truly is. Before enduring things, in your head, you can believe that he is your provider, healer, father, but until you experience Him in those areas you truly come to know him as your great healer of the brokenhearted or the loving father who will never leave us orphaned. When you experience him so close to your heart you experience intimacy with God. You get to see God and experience God in ways that you’ve never seen before. These are testimonies that you can share confidently with others because you’re speaking from experience. Emily’s husband says when you’re in a desperate position and squeezed from every side it will squeeze out a prayer that you’ve never prayed before. That prayer you’ve never prayed before means you get an answer you’ve never gotten before. 

At the age of 19, Emily survived a brutal abduction and rape (watch her incredible testimony HERE). Since that time, she believes that if the Lord could get her through that, he can get her through anything. This firm foundation has held Emily’s footing through leadership difficulties in believing that God is her defender. God is the judge. People are not the judge. In learning who God is; defender, deliverer, close to the brokenhearted, the fear of man and the fear of judgment is driven out. We can be confident in the love of God and confident as a leader. God has always been there for us and loves us for who we are. We don’t need to worry about what other people think, whether they love us or not.

Even when we don’t go through things well and we’re angry at God and we’re crying out to Him at a completely gut level, God will still be there. The answers may not be there, or as close as they need to be for us, but God will be close. He will draw us in, be patient with us as his daughters. This is part of relationship. You can be real with God and still be okay.

Trusting God through trials develops new levels of trust and God is very patient. The Lord is like water flowing over rocks in a river bed. Sometimes we wish we were farther along in life, but God is patient and persistent. He’s constantly flowing over us, washing over us, cleaning us off, softening our rough edges, and patient with the process. He’s not going to give up on us. He will keep bringing us forward. Even when we’re not patient with ourselves, we can trust him and be willing to grow in our leadership. Even though this hurts like crazy, we can learn to trust the Lord.

Going through tough times is the mark of a leader. If you’re currently going through a trial you can count on knowing God more intimately on the other side.. And you’re going to learn who you really are so you can fulfill your purpose. This is not easy, but Emily would want you to know that you are a strong, powerful, and capable leader. Every single woman has a value that is special to them alone. You are an amazing individual and have gifts unique to you. See yourself as the Lord made you, to uncover who you truly are and see how necessary, needed, and valuable you are in the body of Christ. 

Want to hear more from Emily? Find her on Instagram or Twitter.

Choosing Bravery in the Face of Adversity and Judgment - Lori Clifton (Part 2)

In the last post, I introduced you to my friend, Lori Clifton. If you missed it, click HERE.

We left off with Lori in the middle of a season that held tremendous promise and yet it resulted in judgment and pain. Can we, as believers, stand at the edge of faith and dare jump again? What’s a woman to do when provision does not come as a neat package with a bow but comes with repeated incidences of judgment?

Sometimes in the middle of our pain, it’s hard to get perspective and we need to look at things through the eyes of the Lord to really gain our footing. When Lori sought the Lord about her painful season, the Lord changed the way she saw it and showed her the image of a spider web.

For us humans, a spiderweb is a nuisance. But for a spider, her web is the best means of collecting provision. What lands in the web is her provision. As yucky as that may seem for us, that is the spider’s life. The provision that came for Lori did not come the way she expected. Without eyes to see, provision appeared as judgment, but the Lord didn’t waste it. He tucked the treasure of provision in the middle of the really difficult circumstances. It’s the glory of God to conceal a matter, but the glory of kings to reveal a matter. It was what the Lord had in her story. This was training her to see the unseen. To look past the obvious and see beyond.

By faith, as a step of bravery, Lori removed the glasses of how she saw her pain and judgment and began asking to see the Lord’s provision in a new way. She settled her heart in knowing she would see the Lord’s goodness because he loves. Sometimes, we need to do this. When the world around you is constantly disappointing, be on the lookout for the Lord’s goodness. 

Not long after, Lori was invited to a meeting where she knew it was possible to see a person who had previously judged her. The long history of pain that stood between Lori and attending the meeting could’ve held her back. The months of being ridiculed and judged flashed in her eyes as she debated whether or not to show up. Sometimes, showing up is the bravest thing we can do.

So, she chose to be brave and the outcome was not what she thought it would be. In the Lord’s goodness, the person sought Lori out and apologized for the harsh judgment. Lori had already forgiven this person in her heart and the words of forgiveness fell easily from her lips. 

If you’re facing a situation that seems impossible, Lori would encourage you to look at it through a different lens. Instead of seeing it as im-possible, break it down and see it as “I’m Possible” and speak that over yourself. Why? Because you have grace for this. The divine influence upon your heart is a reflection that other people see. You are possible because of this grace. You have the grace to do this. You can stand at the edge of the cliff of faith and jump off because of the grace that’s within you and all around you. You are possible, no matter what other people see.

Want to hear more from Lori? Check out her page on Facebook HERE.

Choosing Bravery in the Face of Adversity and Judgment - Lori Clifton (Part 1)

You know when you’re excited about a new season? Maybe you’ve had an encouraging word about what’s around the corner and you’re brimming with hope and you take a big ‘ole step into the unknown. But instead of sunshine and rainbows, the season is not at all what you expected. In fact, the season turns out to be the harshest, most brutal spiritual winter that nearly obliterates your zest for life and faith. Being brave is the last thing you want to do.

I had the privilege of meeting Lori Clifton through a conference. We continued our friendship online and I’m so grateful for her. Lori has graciously mentored me through my challenges with the church and abusive leaders. She came alongside me with her own experiences of suffering and brought comfort and hope to my pain. I’m so pleased to introduce you to her and share her story of bravery. My hope is you find courage through her journey.

Lori was entering a new season. After coming out of painful years with no community and cancer visiting her family, she was excited when the Lord told her “the weight from the previous season is coming off.” For her, she knew it meant the heaviness she endured from her challenging trials, but it also meant physical weight. Things were definitely looking up!

But as she stepped into the season, doing what she knew to do, she was surprised at the adversity, especially among other believers. She was attending a prayer meeting when she felt compelled to pray over the younger generation. As a representative of an “older” generation, she felt moved by the Holy Spirit to seek to repair any damage that had adversely affected the young. Hearts were stirred, tears fell, and restoration was on the horizon. 

Unfortunately, a woman at the meeting took offense. This offense went up the chain and it was very clear that Lori was no longer welcome in their community. 

Let’s pause on that for a moment because I want this story to bring healing and hope to you. If you have done something that you absolutely felt compelled by the Lord to do, and it resulted in judgment or shame from the church, I want to press into that. Being brave sometimes means we step out into the unknown and risk something that we normally wouldn’t attempt. For Lori, that was extending an open hand across generations and asking for forgiveness. Bridging the gap and seeking restoration absolutely aligns with the heart of God. However, sometimes people can view our actions through tainted lenses and misjudge our motives. If you have experienced that, I pray that you will be able to forgive those who took offense with you. It’s not about you. It’s about them. Vertically lift your concerns to the Lord and receive healing. And then horizontally forgive those who caused you pain. Your job is not to try and convince others of your motives. Your job is to remove the weight from the previous season and not carry it into the next season.

“Being brave sometimes means we step out into the unknown and risk something that we normally wouldn’t attempt.”

Months later, Lori suffered another encounter with a group of people who also judged her harshly. This setback caused devastating pain to her already wounded soul. The kind of pain that makes a person question if it’s time to call it quits; to throw in the towel on this thing called faith. If it brings so much pain, then what’s the point in trying?

Lori cried out the Lord as she stood on the edge of the cliff of faith. Could she take another leap of faith and survive? 

To Be Continued…

You are Brave and Adventurous

In Florida, you can almost set your watch by the daily rain shower, it’s usually right around 3:00. The sky fills with clouds, rains for about 10-15 minutes, and abruptly stops to make way for the blue sky again. 

I was recently shopping when I got caught in a rainstorm such as this. As I was racing toward a storefront, hopping over puddles, a woman passing me in the parking lot shouted above the downfall, “Why do we torture ourselves.” I laughed and shouted back, “Because we’re brave and adventurous!” 

It may seem like a silly example, but yes, you. 

Yes, me. 

We are brave and adventurous. 

I’m inspired as I watch women rise above their daily challenges and face it with strength, poise, and beauty. I’m inspired as I encounter women who have been beaten down by life’s circumstances, yet continue to stand back up and become stronger than before. I’m inspired when women share their stories of living in opposition, grief, and heartache, yet remain steadfast in their faith. 

I’m always reading books and lately, they’ve been about the Civil War. I’ve especially been fascinated by the lives of the two Harriets; Harriet Tubman and Harriet Beecher Stowe. Harriet Tubman was known as the Moses of her people, who led slaves into the North on the Underground Railroad. Harriet Beecher Stowe was known for writing an inspired piece of fiction, Uncle Tom’s Cabin, that was based on actual stories of the horrors of slavery. (I’ll write about her in a later post). This isn’t new information to most, but as I’ve been reading and researching I marvel at their gifts to humanity. 

It’s not commonly known that Harriet Tubman suffered a brain injury as a child when a slave-master threw a two-pound metal weight at her head. This resulted in life-long narcolepsy (falling asleep suddenly). Some say this is when she realized her prophetic giftings as she would sleep deeply for long periods of time and have dreams of the Lord talking to her. It was this prophetic gift that she relied on to guide her as she led people out of their treacherous lives as slaves. 

It’s also not commonly known that Harriet Tubman was a nurse and a spy during the Civil War. She was always caring for others and her experiences during the Underground Railroad enabled her to get in and out of places practically unseen. She had to fight for her due income for this service, but eventually, the government rewarded her for her work (years later) and recognized her contribution to the war effort.

“It’s women like Harriet that make me believe that I can overcome any obstacle. You can overcome any obstacle.”

Harriet also dealt with deep grief as her first husband married another woman while she was leading others out of slavery. She even built a home for the aging and destitute all the while taking care of her elderly parents, and donating funds to churches, and taking care of orphans. 

And she did this without any ability to read or write.

Let that sink in for a minute. 

Oftentimes we let our excuses of “not enough education” or “not enough experience” to hold us back as we dare to step into a space that calls for bravery. But after reading books and listening to podcasts about Harriet Tubman, I am left standing empty with any reasonable excuse for what is holding me back. 

It’s women like Harriet that make me believe that I can overcome any obstacle. 

You can overcome any obstacle.

You are brave and adventurous and have more skills and advantages than you may realize. And this is why I’m writing this series. Stories have the power to transform, inspire, encourage, and give hope. Over the next several months I will be bringing stories of brave women that have inspired me. My hope and prayer, dear reader, is that their story will inspire you as well. I can’t wait to introduce you to them.

I'm Pleased to Announce...

I want to bring something that is truly valuable to you as a reader in hopes of encouraging you and building you up in your journey with the Lord. After celebrating the first anniversary of my website I went to prayer to ask the Lord what’s next on the horizon. I felt He dropped an idea in my spirit that I am so excited about.

I’m pleased to announce the Brave Women Series. 

In the next few months, I will be sharing stories of women I’ve been fortunate enough to encounter. These women are fierce, strong, and have helped me overcome trials and obstacles in my own journey through life. These women have blasted through the glass ceiling for what a woman “should be” and have embraced their identity as who God created them to be. In the months to come, I pray you will be encouraged and empowered through their stories. 

“These women have blasted through the glass ceiling for what a woman “should be” and have embraced their identity as who God created them to be.”

We OVERCOME by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony (Rev 12:11). 

You matter.

Your story matters.